Creating your ideal day is essential for balancing a multifaceted life, especially when you’re juggling career, family, and creative passions. In this episode, we have the absolute pleasure of chatting with the remarkable Kimberly Thacker Webb, a Texas attorney, mother, and the dynamic author behind “Degrees of Deception” and founder of Emerald Pen Publishing. Kimberly shares her incredible journey, from her time at Howard University to her powerful stories of resilience and faith in “Joyful Mother” and her suspenseful fiction series. We delve into how she meticulously plans her days, carves out creative time, and manages the delicate balance between work, personal life, and her burgeoning publishing empire. Listen in as Kimberly offers invaluable insights on self-care, organization, the art of storytelling, and the importance of valuing your unique voice. Get ready to be inspired and empowered to craft your own ideal day and achieve your biggest dreams!
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Creating Your Ideal Day: Inside Kimberly Thacker Webb’s World Of Writing, Publishing, And Inspiring Stories
How Valuing Your Voice And Using A Calendar Unlocks Success
Welcome back to Boss Sleep. I am Dr. Angela Walker, along with my co-host, the amazing Dr. Sylvia E. Morris. We were honored to interview the fellow Texan mother, wife, lawyer, and author of Degrees of Deception, Kimberly Thacker Webb. We had so much to talk about from her experience at an HBCU to becoming a lawyer, her journey with infertility, and ultimately her course in writing and how she’s become a published author of two books, one coming, a third coming, and also her own publishing house. That’s a mouthful. We thought to begin the episode, we would start with our journey into writing a book, THE GAME PLAN: A Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Doctor and Living a Life in Medicine, which was truly a labor of love. I think you would say as well, Sylvia.
It was. It was a ten-year journey. I think what I would say to people is that it is the consistency. Kim talked a lot about being organized. I’m going to write on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That was really our process, and we made an outline. We divided the outline up. Everyone was responsible for writing their part of said outline, and then we would edit each other. Finally, we got to the point where we actually hired an editor, but it was definitely a process. I want to shout out our book publisher, Valerie McDowell, who was a fellow Hoya, and her book publishing company is called Book Coach Excelerator.
I’ll just add onto that. Our coauthors are also Dr. Diane Boykin, Jessica Osborne, Pennington, and Leah Matthews. The five of us go on girls’ trips, and the birth of the project was over one of our many dinners together, just talking about what we wish we had known or wish someone had told us, maybe before we embarked on the journey of becoming a doctor. As you said, I think the organization was key. I would echo that. Organized from the sense that before we left that girl’s trip, had an outline.
Pelican Hill and Newport Beach, California. We’re going to say thank you to Jamie Balk, who is our travel agent extraordinaire. Marley was our actual butler at Pelican Hill. I remember that. It was fantastic.
Showing the most now, but that is how we travel.
Press it on me.
We spent that time as usual in doing our normal girl stuff, but we were very dedicated about “We want to get this out. How do we do it?” Not knowing anyone who had actually written a book, and none of us had written but divided it up, and we just did the round robin thing and editing amongst ourselves. I would just have to just what it taught me as a person is the value of respect because I think we all respected each other in terms of our capabilities, our time. We’re all physicians and busy physicians.
We have lives outside of our book.
We respected that, but we also respected the time that we said we were going to set aside to get the book done. Life, it lost a little bit of momentum after we had it.
Pandemic happened, remember? Yep. As you said, we found someone that helped us push us over the hump and get us through the process. The rest is history. From that experience, we certainly respect what Kim has been through and what she’s currently doing. We cannot wait to get into this episode so that our readers can hear what her life has and journey has been like.
Kim’s publishing house is called Emerald Pen Publishing. Just wanted to make sure we got that out there, and that will be in the short show notes.
Perfect. Without further ado, we’re going to introduce Kimberly Thacker Webb.
Dallas To Howard To Law: Kimberly Thacker Webb’s Journey Begins
We are so excited to have you. Kimberly Thacker Webb, you are a fellow Texan, a mother, an attorney, and a wonderful author. As we like to, at the beginning of our conversations, we’d like to just know how your journey began. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Thank you for having me. I so appreciate it. My journey began in Dallas, Texas, with my parents and my sister. What I wanted to be was a lawyer when I grew up. That was like what my parents told me that I should do. That’s what I did.
Mom and Dad know best.
You went on to do that, and I know that you did become an attorney. However, before that, you were a graduate of Howard University. Can you tell us a little bit about how those experiences shaped your journey as a lawyer and an author?
Howard University, our prestigious university, was a pivotal point for me in my life. It not only allowed me to dive into the intellectual waters of academia. It gave me a great cultural experience, and it really expanded everything that our parents had already instilled in me. For me, going from Howard to law school is a natural progression. While at Howard, I never envisioned being an author. As a matter of fact, when I graduated from Howard, I had done well. I was offered a master’s and PhD fellowship in political science, and upon completion, an assistant professor for the university. I turned that down.
You were good. They don’t do that for just ordinary people.
I did pretty well. I turned it down. Here’s why. They said you have to publish. I was like, “I cannot write.” They wanted you to actually publish and write and everything. I was a political science major, so I was accustomed to writing, but it wasn’t like my favorite thing to do. I was like, “No, I cannot do that.” They offered me a master’s and a PhD in sociology. I turned that down and I said, “You still want me to publish. I cannot do that.”
It’s interesting how God does things. I think back, “What if I had accepted those opportunities and been publishing much earlier than what I’m doing now?” I also realized that God makes no mistakes. Sometimes you are on the path that you say, “I think this is where God’s wanting me to go.” Even if I don’t go exactly the way he wants me to do as a way of bringing it all the way back around.
God makes no mistakes. Share on XFull circle.
Howard was a great experience. It shaped the woman that you see. I really did. My parents did it. My faith in God did it first and foremost, but yeah, Howard is an amazing institution. For me, it helped greatly.
Infertility To Bestseller: How “Joyful Mother” Was Born
How did you become an author, and was the making of Joyful Mother your first book?
Yes. The Making of a Joyful Mother chronicled my journey through infertility. It was my first book. I didn’t intend to write that book. I didn’t intend to write a book. My journey through that was so traumatic at times and heartbreaking and others. I had someone say, “This could probably help some other people like you’re writing this.” I wrote that book, and it was tough to write because I wanted to be transparent.
I wanted to be really open and honest about my struggle. I did. I’ve had several people. It’s in Africa. It’s gone to all these different places. I get emails from people around the world who are like, “This book, I saw myself on every page. It increased my faith. I now have two babies. I now have this and I have that.” I attribute it all to that it was just God asking me to do something, and I obeyed. I thought that was it, Sylvia. I didn’t think there was anything else. I was like, “I’ll just do this.”
One and done.
One and done, be obedient and be done.
It’s such a great topic, and bravo to you for being open, as you mentioned, and transparent about it. Can you tell us just a little bit about the journey? What was it like for you? I know that you now have two beautiful children, but obviously, I deal with women who experience infertility, and I know how much of a struggle it can be. Can you give us a little insight into what you’re?
I walked through infertility for about 6 1/2 years. I tried everything up to in vitro. All the different treatments, all the different things. For me, I really thought this was never going to happen. I’ve been to all these specialists and all these doctors, and I am a person of faith. I just prayed and I said, “God, I guess it’s not within your will for me for this to happen for me.” It was so interesting because he took me to a place of like, “I need you to get contempt with even if I say no, I need you to be okay with that.”
It took me a minute, but I finally got to that place of contentment. I literally put my wound on the altar and said, “God, if you don’t do it, it’s not going to be done. I’m going to be okay either way.” It was at that timeframe that when I released it and said, “I’m not going to think about it anymore. I’m just going to continue to pursue my career.” About a month or so later, I found out I was two months pregnant.
It gives me chills only because I’ve heard that story over and over again. Not necessarily just from the faith aspect. Certainly, a lot from that. Also, just from the anxiety and the stress around trying to conceive. Oftentimes, it is that point in which, unfortunately, someone has dealt with something for years. They’ve come to that point where they just sigh and say, “Thy will be done, Lord, or I’m going to make something else happen and be okay with this, and then you’re gifted.”
I wish that were the case for all women that struggle. I don’t want to belittle anyone’s journey or path, but I’ve heard that story many times. Grateful and so happy that you shared. I remember seeing your book when you published that back then, I was in practice, and I actually offered it to some patients. Very cool.
Thank you. That was a difficult one to write because a lot of the book is I wrote while I was journaling in that experience. I questioned, “Do I put this in here? Do I not?” It just came down.
It is personal.
It is. After writing the book, I was invited to have an infertility support group at a hospital. I’ve done a number of things. I spoke at an infertility conference, if you could believe that. I’ve done a number of things with it, but it is a very personal thing, and it is so heart wrenching to know that you’re born as a woman and you have the equipment, but it’s just not working when you want it to work. I think the practice that my doctors practice, all four of the positions at the time that operated on me for one thing or another, is trying to help that situation.
Alleviate other issues. That was a tough one. For all women that are experiencing that, that is something that I truly get. I have my two children now, but it still rings true. When I hear someone struggling with it, it still reminds me. That was also about fourteen years ago. It’s still in publication. It’s on Amazon as well.
The Storyteller’s Craft: Inside “Degrees Of Deception”
Just looking at your process as far as storytelling, I believe you have a new book that is out or a book that’s out in a series. Can you go ahead and tell our audience about that? Also, your process in story storytelling?
The name of the book that I have out is called Degrees of Deception.
It’s available where?
It’s available on Amazon.com. It’s Degrees of Deception by Kimberly Thacker Webb. It’s about a young lady that goes off to college. She spends all of her money on a frugal shopping spree. She’s afraid to call home to ask for more money, of course. She tries a one-time gig to recoup those funds. As a result, she falls prey to hosting secret cocaine parties. It’s her journey through that time period. She’s only nineteen at the time.
I’d love to know your process, but I’m just here to say, once I started reading, I didn’t put the book down. It was very good. I guess just reliving your life as a college student and seeing things that are like, “That could happen.” The whole process of the story was really intriguing. Tell us more about the process.
When you say, “What is your process for storytelling?” I don’t have a storytelling process per se. It tells me what to do. What I’m saying? I just looked one day at all the different social ills in society, suicide, drugs, alcoholism, and domestic violence. I was like, “I would love to make an impact in some way. I knew if I wrote a book just about all the social ills, in my opinion, no one would read it.” I thought, why not craft a plot? Why not craft characters to bring this into being?
Storytelling found me. I wasn’t out there looking for it. Remember, I was one and done. Remember when I was in college, I was like, “I’m not publishing.” It’s one of those things, like when you’re called to do something, you can run, you can hide, you can do whatever, it will still find you. Being an author is one of my purposes in life. It finds me. My story, this is going to sound crazy, I promise you I’m saying, but my characters talk to me, they tell me their stories. What they want to divulge and what they don’t.
Do you get up at 4:00 AM and you write for an hour, or do you use voice notes? Just the techniques that you use to capture your ideas.
When my characters talk, I stop. That could be 2:00 AM. It could be 10:00 at night. That could be a Saturday morning, or the other morning. I think it was 3:15. I got up and wrote from 3:15 until 8:00. It just depends. Now, if I’m on the road or certainly if I’m at work during the day, I cannot stop and listen to a character. They typically don’t bother me when I’m doing in corporate America. Have I been in my car driving home and somebody say something to me? Yes, I do have a voice recorder in my car. I try not to lose that. If I’m in the middle of going out with my daughter, out with my friends, or whatever, and something comes, I immediately stop and type it into my phone.
I don’t mean to interrupt you. I am just thinking of myself. I guess I just need to stick with nonfiction because I don’t want anybody waking me up at 3:00 to tell me to write. I’ve been up at 3:00.
I’m with you, Angela.
Clearly, from what I’ve read, that is the part of the mix that makes it a magic part.
I did that with the making of a Joyful Mother, too. There were times that God would wake me up with a title distraction. He would wake me up with something. It’s interesting making of a Joyful Mother. All of my chapters start with a D. Whereas Degrees of Deception, I’m obviously caught up on these for some reason. It woke me up during that journey, too. What I do is to be consistent as a part of the process when I get these ideas and I record them on either voice memo or I type them in my phone, then when I’m in the writing mode, like now I’m editing, but when I’m in the writing mode, then I’m writing every week.
That may mean I’m writing on a late Tuesday night. There have been times where I go to work, come home, take care of the kids, everybody’s done, and 10:00 is quiet. I’m writing from 10:00 PM to 2:00. There are times when, on Saturdays, I cannot go around and hang out with my friends because I’m dedicated. I have to write from 8:00, or sometimes I write all day. Sometimes I go to church on Sunday, come back home, and do a few things. I’m in this room writing.
Did you have your writing space at home?
This is it. This is my office.
Degrees of Deception, I understand it is a series now. When can we look forward to the next book?
The next book is, I’m hoping to release it this summer, and it will be book two in a series, and it’ll be entitled Degrees of Deception: City Secrets. I like to write suspense.
It is very suspenseful. Is she still going to be in college, or has she graduated? Can you tell us anything about that yet?
Is she still going to be in college in City Secrets? Yes.
Sometimes, as an older adult now you find things are like that’s not going to be in my lane, but it was completely relatable and I think relevant. Particularly, I think because as a mother of daughters, I’m not only seeing myself when I was in college, but what’s currently happening on the scene now in society. Definitely suspenseful. That’s good.
Thank you for that. I don’t mean to interrupt you, Angela, but thank you for that because my goal was to write it for not only students that are heading to college, so that they don’t fall into some of these pitfalls. Also, make it nostalgic enough for people our age that can reminisce and think, “I’ve seen some things like that. What if I had done this? This would have happened to me.” My goal was to have a dual audience.
You did well. I don’t know what your plans are, but from things that I’ve seen out in the media and things that are currently on that are streaming, I could easily see this becoming something on screen. Do you have any intention of going in that direction?
Has it been an option? Have you read the screenplay?
It’s not an option. I have written the script for, like, I would love to do a Netflix. I would love to do a series on Netflix.
I could see that.
I think I’ve written twelve episodes, and I have a friend of a friend who is, how you always have this friend of a friend who knows someone.
Who’s in the business?
She’s actually a script professor. I’m going to have her review it. She does have some contacts. I’m also going to start going down that road. I wanted to first republish and completely update Degrees of Deception from ten years ago, and move down the road towards that, and then get City Secrets pretty close to being up, and then move in that direction.
Self-Publishing Secrets: Taking Control Of Your Author Journey
Kim, you are self-publishing. Can you talk about that journey? Why self-publish versus going with a publishing house or having a book agent?
When I initially published Degrees of Deception, I did not know anything about the industry. I was really green. I went with one of the self-publishing houses, paid them a bunch of money. Realized later my royalties were like next to meal. It’s like, “No, wait a minute. That doesn’t make sense.” I started spending some time, like on the weekends, like, “What is it with this whole publishing being and why is it so difficult?”
I just educated myself and created my own publishing company. I cut the middleman out. I sell on Amazon and Ingram Spark. Whenever I sell, the majority of the money comes back to me. I pay them for printing, but I’m not paying the middleman to do all the things that a publisher does. That was a lesson for me. In terms of an agent, I did have a couple of agents that I pitched to, and one held on to my book for nine months, which meant I couldn’t.
You couldn’t, and you can move forward because you couldn’t do anything. That’s like telling you how to search.
She left the firm. My book was in limbo. I just decided that I wanted control.
Creative control.
Also, there are a few curse words in Degrees of Deception, but not like the really inflammatory ones. The one agent says, “You need to drop more F bombs.” I was like, “No, I don’t want to do all that.” I understand that in society, those are colorful words, but that’s not all I want. That’s not the essence of my book.
Authentic to you.
No, and it wouldn’t have been authentic. Self-publishing myself. Now it’s a lot of work. It’s a lot that goes into it, and I see why they charge so much to do it, but it gives me control. That’s why I moved to that.
We were definitely in awe. I can speak for Sylvia because we already know how hard it was to write, edit, and get it self-published with a publishing firm. For you doing all of that? Kudos to you. I imagine the hard work that you’ve put into it now will pay off. For whatever you want to do from this point on, how to do it, and it’ll be an easier path.
It’ll be much easier because yeah, I figured it all out. For even for individuals that are like, “Kim, I want to write a book or I want to publish a book. I now have services through the name of my company is Emerald Pen Publishing.” Emerald Pen has book coaching sessions where we can walk you through how to write a book. If you’re wanting to publish it, it can be published through my firm because it’s not easy. There are tricks to it. You’ve got to learn all the little nuances with your ISBN number and just. It’s more than what people think.
Did your background as being an attorney, did it help with this whole process? How did it play a role in terms of the writing? I’m not sure what area of law you practice in, but does it tie?
Let me explain. I am a subject matter expert in two federal statutes, FMLA and ADA. I don’t practice, but I provide subject matter expertise to Fortune 100 companies. Now I’ve been doing expert witness testimony for law firms. I do a little bit of both. As far as Lori, I think what did help me is when you go to law school, you’re trained to read those really technical contracts. I’m like, “Wait, what? Why does this say X, Y, I don’t think I like that.”
I’m having conversations because there are different vendors that you’re having to deal with to be a publishing company. I think that has helped me a lot to understand some of the contract language and to question and to push back a little bit to say, “No, I don’t want to do that.” Especially when you’ve got like, you’ve got book jacket design. You’ve got editorial. I hire editors to edit my books. I want to make sure you don’t have any, “I don’t want you to take any liberty and thinking that this is any part of your intellectual property at all.” All of those things, I think, from having a law degree definitely help me. My law degree helps me literally every day. I think it has been a great benefit.
Juggling Dreams: Balancing Work, Family, And Author Life Mastery
How do you balance your work life, your career life, your home life, and then also being an author and running a publishing house?
It’s a lot. I’m sure I’ll do some other things on the list as well, but yeah. It’s funny because some of my friends have told me I have like a productivity addiction, like everybody’s an addict in something.
We all have a vice.
I haven’t managed it as well previously, but over the years, I’ve learned that self-care is huge. I had to learn that. You heard me tell you like I carve out time. If I’m going to write on a Tuesday or a Thursday night or whatever, I’m never writing on Mondays. I don’t write on Wednesdays and I don’t write on Fridays.
Is it something about the days, or you’re just like, “I just only want to write two days a week.” Why never on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday?
With my schedule and I have a fourteen-year-old still here and a husband. I’ve got other obligations.
You most certainly do.
My 21-year-old, while she’s in college, that’s still another obligation. There are phone calls. As you guys probably know, those phone calls come in. “I’m not sure about this, not sure about that.” I’ve had to figure out how to carve my time so that during the week, I limit it. If there’s a lot going on, then I don’t write on Tuesdays or Thursdays. I have to preserve my mental health.
If you think about it, I’m writing creatively. I cannot write if my mind is cluttered. That’s why I limit it to like Tuesday nights. I don’t always do 10:00 to 2:00, sometimes it’s 10:00 to midnight. Sometimes it’s 10:00 to 11:00, depends on what’s going on. Saturday and Sunday, that is my time to dive in and figure out what I’m doing next with each book. We talked about City Secrets is coming out in the summer.
In the fall, I have a children’s book that’s coming out. I’m doing a children’s series as well. In the fall, the first book will come out. You see why? You cannot do it every single day. You have to carve it out so that like “This Saturday, I won’t be working on the children’s book because that’s the day it’s set aside to do the edits, finish the content edits from the editor for City Secrets.” The children’s book isn’t even back on schedule until May 3rd. I put my calendar together and I carve it out. Think about it, if you don’t write it down, it won’t get done.
How about that?
If I don’t put it on the calendar and say, “This is exactly what I’m going to do on this day, then it never gets done.”
I have a hard time with this aspect in terms of maybe you can help me maybe offline, but I’m working part-time in the office, and I also have my speaking and coaching business. We have the podcast. I learned that I had to do days. I couldn’t just block time, like in hours, it had to be days. Monday is a podcast day. If something comes up, so what I heard you say is that the children’s book project just got put down the road into May. I have a hard time negotiating that in my mind, because it’s like, “I had this deadline in my head that I need to get this done in the business.” I’m
trying to find another time that was dedicated to something else, and it doesn’t ever work. I guess I just have to be more diligent about putting that time off if it’s not happening.
I think when we try to do all of it at one time, are we ever truly successful? We’re trying to do it all at one time. I think we have to just really give ourselves a moment to say, “These things need to get done. How can I get them done?” As you look at your calendar, you’re like, “What is feasible? What makes sense? What’s reasonable? How much time can I carve out?” I know I want to get to it. There are things I want to get to.
Mentally, there’s just not enough time in the day. I find when I plan it out, I’m a better wife, I’m a better mother, I’m a better employee, I’m a better business person because I’ve carved that time out. I realized that “If I try to do it all, then I’m depriving me of me at some point. If I don’t get what I need, then I’m no good for anybody.” It’s taking me a long time to figure that. It’s taking me a long time to get there, but it just works smoother that way. It really does.
It’s easier for me to tell that to other people than for myself. It’s nice to hear it for somebody else.
You’ve got to try it, Angela.
Author Advice: Unleash Your Voice And Write It Plain
That’s right. You might like it. Kim, what advice would you give to aspiring authors, someone who’s got a thought for a book that has been needling them? How would you encourage them to get started?
The first thing that I would say to an upcoming new author is to value your voice. To realize that if you’re being unctioned to tell your story, whatever that story is, then there’s someone out there who needs to hear it. That would be the first thing I would do is I would start with encouragement. The next thing I think I’d move to is empowerment. I would say to them, “Now, this is the story that you have been wanting to write. It’s just been bursting. You cannot seem to get it out. Now you’ve got to sit down and sit down, look at your schedule. When are we going to spend some time putting this out?”
The Bible says, “Write the vision, make it plain.” When are we going to spend some time? What is reasonable for you during the week? If it’s not reasonable, what can you do on the weekends? I’ve had different clients say to me, because I do book coaching, “The Weekend is my fun time.” That’s one of the themes of Degrees of Deception. Choices and consequences. You have a choice. You can go have fun. You should have fun. You should take time for that. If this is really something that is important to you and it’s a story that you think people can really be impacted by, then you’re going to have to stop and set aside some time. My class reunion had something last weekend in Dallas.
We’re in the same class, by the way.
I had some edits that I had to get done back to the content editor. It was a Sunday. I couldn’t get them done all on Saturday because I had something else going on that day with my son, because I had to prioritize my son. Sunday, I wanted to go so bad. I wanted to go so bad. Deep down, I knew you got deadlines. You cannot do it. What did I do? I didn’t go.
I wrote, “I hated it. Missed it.” I was like, “Kim, there’ll be another one.” Part of what, as a new author, you got to sacrifice. Books just don’t appear on shelves. Somebody has to take the time to craft the idea and put the work in. That’s what I would tell them. I’ve had some clients that come through, and we go all the way through, and it’s a beautiful thing. They finish their book, they get it edited.
Books just don't appear on shelves. Somebody has to take the time to craft the idea and put the work in. Share on XIt’s up and running. I have some clients that are just like, the question is, “When did you write this week?” “I didn’t.” “That’s okay. What’s your plan for next week?” If it continues to be a pattern, I’m like, “Are we really wanting to do this?” You got to sit back and analyze, “Is it just sexy and cute to be a writer, to say I’m an author, or do you really want to be an author?” There’s some work that goes into that. There’s some time that goes into that.
The idea of it versus the doing.
They’re in love with the idea. I think people have to sit back and really think about it. You always hear the five whys. “Why do I want to be an author?” “I want to do this.” “Why do you want to do that?” It’s an introspective, and I’ve had that with several clients where it’s really introspective. Some realize that, “I just was really excited about the idea, and I don’t want to take the time to do the work.” That’s fine too. Now, what you don’t want to do. “What else do you want to do with your life?” We go down that path. For me, that is a regular process, Sylvia, with clients is a regular process of really carving out the time, getting on a schedule, and being committed to what you say you want to do.
I can testify to the part of identifying why you’re doing it because when we wrote our book, there were five of us, so it’s different than what you’ve done with your works, but we just felt it. It was in our hearts to do it until it gets published. There was no putting it down. There was no, “This hasn’t happened.” I think it’s like having a child, almost like, “I’m not going to give up on this project that I’ve committed to.”
It depends on, like you said, your why, because we want it. What do you want to do with the story? If it’s just to be popular and be on the books and say, “I’ve got a book,” then it’s a lot harder to get that done. If you want to help someone or get a message or just get what’s on your heart out, then I think it becomes a meaningful project that you have to continue to work towards. I would say that there are a lot of people who probably need your help in getting to that process, because ultimately, we did need someone that helped us at the end to finally get it published.
I think that’s interesting, because when people want to write a book and it is just so they can see their name. Some of them. For me, like for Degrees of Deception, I wanted to make an impact. Really wanted people to look at things differently. I wanted them to see, like, “If you ever encounter yourself in a domestic violence situation, what do you think you should do?”
I wanted them to realize that drowning yourself in a bottle of cognac is not going to get your situation. It’s not going to make it any better. I used Degrees of Deception as a teaching tool, secretly. Every author has their own reason why they’re doing different things. For me, I wanted it to be a teaching tool so that people could learn through the characters, somewhat not to do, somewhat to do. They could sit back and make those decisions themselves.
I’m going to go in a different direction. We’ve talked about your fertility journey and your ultimate success in having our infertility journey and success in having two children. Now as a published author, what has parenthood in general taught you?
Parenting Lessons: Studying, Patience, And Unconditional Love
What hasn’t parenthood? Parenthood, for me, I learned from just some of the best parents. I had such a great group of loving parents. George and Esplanada Thacker, were they just modeled for parenting? Everything that I had learned from them, plus along the way, you learn stuff along the way, I began to implement myself and I realized that not everybody doesn’t have a model parent or parents.
Sometimes that’s hard to do. What I learned is that with both of my kids, they’re both different. I have a boy, I have a girl, and a boy, and they’re very different. Not just gender, just in likes, dislikes, they’re just different. What I learned is that each one of them needs something a little bit different to motivate them. Working through that and understanding them, it’s like my husband and I are premarital coaches. That’s another thing, Sylvia, to add to the list.
I’m taking notes.
We always tell people to study their mates. Before you get married, study your mate, understand it. My husband began to study our children. What they need, “What this one needs, what this one wants.” Instead of trying to raise them the same, we had to realize what happens for Kendall is different than what happens for Caleb. I think studying them has taught me to get to know them on a more intimate basis, not just, “How was school today? Did you brush your teeth?”
No, like these kids, it’s a different day out here. These kids are facing a lot more different challenges than what we face. Having those intimate conversations and making every conversation count when I pick him up from school. It’s not just, “What did you eat for lunch today?” It’s in-depth questions. Now, sometimes he’s a boy and he’s like, “I don’t feel like talking about.” I’ve found ways through studying him to say I’ll talk about something else, or I might talk about sports, and then I might weave it back in that.
I get him to open up. That’s studying him. That’s learning him. I’ve also learned patience. The way I could interact with Kendall is different than the way I can interact with Caleb. I can more so talk to Kendall, and she understands, she gets what I’m saying. I’m giving advice. She can grasp and run with it. Caleb was like, well, he’s 14 going on 30. He’s like, he challenges it. He’s like, “I don’t know. I’m telling you this for your best interest.” I’m having to have patience.
It’s like, “Why?”
Yeah, it’s like, why? For me, I’m learning how to have patience with a fourteen-year-old boy who’s going through puberty, who’s experiencing things that I’m not going to ever know. I think it’s taught me patience. I say studying them, patience. I think it’s just taught me a whole different level of love because we send these kids out, we hope and pray we’ve taught them everything they need. At the end of the day, what my son shows me is that he needs that love so much. This morning he woke up, I was like, “You need to get dressed, you’ve got to get out of here.”
He’s standing there, and I’m like, “What is it?” He won’t talk. He’s just standing there, and I’m like, “Mommy forgot.” He just needed his hug. We were running around. He hadn’t gotten his hug. I’m trying to get his stuff for his science project. I’m like, “You got to have this and this. We forgot this.” He didn’t care. He’s like, “I need my morning hug.” That’s different from Kendall. That’s different. Loving them the way they need to be loved and at a different level for each one of them. I think that’s what parenthood has taught me.
Love your children the way they need to be loved and at a different level for each one of them. Share on XSelf-Care Strategies: Facials, Coloring, And Daily Prayers
That’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing. We always ask all of our guests about their self-care regimen. Early on in our conversation, you talked about self-care, and I’m going to paraphrase it. It’s just being very organized and having a really intentional schedule. What other habits are part of your self-care regime?
Again, this is an area.
Works in progress.
Yes, it works in progress. I have implemented that I wasn’t always the one that got my nails and my feet done. That wasn’t always me. Now I would go get my hair done, but I wasn’t doing anything else.
I don’t do those things either.
Now I’ve implemented it. It is very relaxing. For me, really try. I don’t always make it, but I try to go at least once a month to get my nails and my feet done at all. Always make it. One of the things I’ve incorporated as we get older, our skin changes. My mother always told me, as you get older, you’ve got to get on top of your skin routine. Don’t delight. I’ve been going to getting facials and I’m putting different collagen, peptides, and brightener. I’m like all this different stuff. That’s self-care.
I love a serum.
It’s the vitamin C serum. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s a part of self-care because guess what? That takes some time to like, “You got to cleanse, you got to freshen, you got to moisturize, you got to do all these things.” I was washing my face before, but not to the extent that I’m doing now. Now Tuesdays and Thursday nights are exfoliating nights. Sundays are mass nights. That’s facial. The other thing that I’ve started doing, my girlfriend, who is like a creative genius.
She was saying, “You know what I’ve been doing just to relax?” I said, “What?” She was like, “I’m doing adult coloring.” I was like, “What? You’re doing what?” She said, “I went out and it turned out it’s not like coloring with like a map.” I’ve started and said, “Twice a week. That’s going to be my little thing where I do that a little bit.” I do that. Take walks.
I’m sorry, Kim. I’ve got a question. This whole coloring thing. I’ve seen those coloring books. I’m like, “It doesn’t look like fun to me.” Is it relaxing? It’s all these crazy lines.
Did you like to color when you were little?
I did.
I’m abstract.
How about painting?
You colored all that?
Yes.
It’s a coloring book. Thank you.
This is an entry-level. I’m still learning. This is still learning.
That’s beautiful. That’s a coloring book.
This is an entry. My friend is very much out. She’s very good at this.
She’s advanced.
It is relaxing. Another thing I do I take walks. That’s good for my physical health. This morning I took a two-mile walk. Now, just to free your mind, think through, just walk. I walk my little doggy. Some of the things I do just like on a Friday night, I might get together with my friends, and we may go have wine.
We may go have dinner. I’m doing things that feed into me, and I’m trying to be intentional about it every week. You heard me talk about exfoliating at night. I’m trying to be very intentional. I bought these oils. I love them. Now I’m doing all of that. I’m growing in my self-care. Now, one of the other things that I do every morning as a part of my self-care is I go into my closet and I get on my knees and I turn the lights off, and I pray.
I ask God to guide my steps. Help me, whatever he wants me to do today to help someone, let me do that. I clear my mind because I just told you all the stuff I got going on. Not to mention my daughter’s graduating from college, not to mention I’m doing a number of different things with this book. There’s a multiplicity of things. If I don’t ever quiet my mind and get some physical activity, I cannot make it. The calendar is key. Within that is carved.
I remember my husband and I, we are listen to Dr. Darius Daniels. He’s a pastor of Change Church in Atlanta. He was talking about creating your ideal day. If you don’t create your ideal day, you’ll be on social media for 2 and 3 hours. You’ll be doing all kinds of stuff. I’ve created my ideal day. Every day has a little different variation. I’m flexible enough to say, “If I’m writing on a Saturday morning and it’s just not hitting, can’t get it together, then I don’t sit there.” Just like, “I got to do it.” I said I was going to write from 8:00 to 12:00. I just say, “That’s a wash.” That’s obviously my mind needs something else.
I think that’s the key that I’m learning is the flexibility part, and just realized I’m still putting one foot in front of the other. I’m still working towards the goal, but being flexible enough for with the schedule that needs to change, realize you’re still making forward momentum, but not. I guess giving yourself grace is what I’m trying to.
We’re our hardest critic, though, Angela. We are the hardest. If I don’t get all this done, my list used to be thirteen things deep. I’m like, “We can do all that in a day.” I’m like, we have to be able to give ourselves grace, give ourselves some patience, and say, “It’s okay. The fact that you showed up today, you’re already ahead of most.” I think that if we walk through life realizing that giving ourselves positive feedback, telling ourselves, “I’m still moving forward.” Like you said, “I’m still moving in a forward motion. I may not get all this done, but that’s okay. Let me schedule it for another day when I will have more time.”
The fact that you showed up today, you're already ahead of most. Share on XConnecting & Sharing: Gratitude, Social Media, And Saying Thank You
Very good. Kim, we are so grateful that you spent time with us. We’re excited to see the launch of Degrees of Deception and the sequel and the upcoming screenplay and Netflix series, and the children’s book. Speak all of that into existence. You’re such an inspiration to the would-be lawyer, to the would-be author, and to those that are out there doing those things now that didn’t realize they could have their own publishing company, and balancing all that with being a great woman of faith, a mother, and a devoted wife.
I cannot thank you enough for being here. Is there anything that you’d like to say that we didn’t mention in terms of what you’re doing? We also wanted to, sorry. I stacked my questions. I apologize. Do you want to give your social media handles? We’ll definitely put that in our show notes, but any last words?
No, I don’t have any last words. Thank you so much for having me. Degrees of Deception by Kimberly Thacker Webb is on Amazon. It’s available now. My social media handles are Facebook, Kimberly Thacker Webb. I also have a Facebook page for Degrees of Deception. On Instagram, I am author Kimberly T. Webb. On TikTok, I am author Kimberly T. Webb. I don’t know if you guys, Angela, if you’ve had a chance to look at some of my TikTok and some of my videos, I have a social media manager that is a part of my team, and we are like, it’s amazing how this comes up.
I have to say this. Yes, I have, because I do follow you. I don’t, on TikTok, but on Instagram, and it has been fire.
Thank you.
We can talk about that offline, but yes, really well done. I liked just seeing your process of how you’re doing things and how things are coming along as an author. That’s very good.
Thank you all for having me. It was such a pleasure to meet you, Sylvia.
Lovely to meet you. Thank you, Kimberly Webb. May you be well.
Thank you.
Thank you to our readers. May you be well.
—
Welcome back to the show. Angela, we had a fantastic conversation with Kimberly Thacker Webb, who talked about her upcoming projects. I want to make sure that I say the name of her book, which is available on Amazon, Degrees of Deception. The second book in the series will come out at the end of the summer, Degrees of Deception: City Secrets. Also, be on the lookout for a children’s book from Kim Webb. She is busy.
She’s got obviously, as mentioned, a family, and I know she’s fully engaged with her children and her husband and just life in general. What a fantastic interview and a lot of insight into the process and processes. I guess just inspiration of what you can do when you put your mind to it.
I know. I think organization is probably the key for Kim. When she talked about how her writing days are Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then she does some writing on the weekend. It was very clear to me that when she says she writes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she’s writing on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That really was inspiring, and it’s a reminder that she talked about, if you don’t write it down, then it won’t get done.
I’m very fond of a list, and I love to cross out the things that I’ve completed on my list. Sometimes I have lists from two days prior because there’s one thing left on that list that I will eventually cross out, but it helps remind me and keep me honest about the things that I want to do going forward, because it’s not simply about my professional life at this point. It’s about how I am growing personally with the podcast and all of the other endeavors. What were your take-homes?
Definitely the organization piece. I can completely concur with that. As I mentioned during the podcast is being able for myself personally be flexible from the stance of if I don’t get all the boxes checked that day, as long as I’m still making forward momentum and I’m doing something to create the show on a regular basis on the days.
Those health styles.
Was getting to that and health style. Health and wellness program. As long as I’m making those steps every day, giving myself grace. Again, going back to, if you don’t write it down, it’s not going to happen. This is something we’ve I’ve said for 25 plus years, taking care of patients. If you don’t put exercise or physical activity on your list, if you don’t put self-care on your list, it’s those things, those ideals that we want to get done. If you don’t write it down, it oftentimes doesn’t happen. That was number one. I liked the concept of creating your ideal day because if you haven’t created an ideal day, then how do you even know what you’re shooting towards? That will be on my list. I like that one.
When Dr. Rhonda Mattox talked about what your dream life looks like? You’ve got to have some ideal days in order to get your dream life. I love how our conversations dovetail.
I love how you remember them all.
I remember some things.
One of the ones that was towards the beginning is, think what she wanted to impart to someone younger that’s coming behind her is to value your voice. I cannot echo that enough in knowing that you have value and there is somebody that could benefit from hearing your story, your advice, from your cautionary tales of what not to do. You have to value your own voice before you can impart that to someone else.
If somebody feels like there’s something on their heart that they need to do, value that instinct, but you’re going to have to work to get it done. Those are the things that I learned, but yeah, such a pleasant day of just reflecting on our experience as co-authors. Also, knowing what she’s been through. Her infertility component was really valuable. I think being able to write about those things for a lot of people. It’s not only cathartic for them, but it’s so valuable to others. Lots of pearls. I’m grateful.
You know what you’re getting from me for a gift at your next gift.
What? Degrees of Deception?
Yes, please buy the book. A coloring book, an adult coloring book. I’m just going to leave it there. You’ve got to listen to the end of the podcast to understand that.
Here’s the question. Do you think I need an advanced coloring book or a beginner’s? You can answer that.
I think you are advanced. I would be like beginner. I would might be like remedial, but I do want, if we’re going to get it, I want a 128 Crayola box with a little sharpener in the back. I need that.
That stands up on the desk on its own.
Yes.
The one that I could never get.
My mother was like, “No, girl, I think I had maybe 64 crayons.”
That was the max.
I couldn’t get 128. She was like, “You’re doing too much.”
We could go on and on. I haven’t seen those in forever. That was fun. I loved our episode. Always loved being with you and your presence around you, and to our audience until we meet again, may you be well.
Thank you for reading, sharing, and subscribing. Please drop us a note at BossLleapPodcast@gmail.com. May you be well.
Important Links
- Kimberly Thacker Webb
- Kimberly Thacker Webb on LinkedIn
- Kimberly Thacker Webb on Instagram
- Kimberly Thacker Webb on TikTok
- Degrees of Deception
- Degrees of Deception on Amazon
- THE GAME PLAN: A Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Doctor and Living a Life in Medicine
- The Making of a Joyful Mother
- Emerald Pen
- Degrees of Deception on Facebook
- BossLleapPodcast@gmail.com
About Kimberly Thacker Webb
Respected by industry leaders as a strategic advisor, Kimberly offers 20 years of private sector and public entity experience in ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), Human Resources, Workers’ Compensation and Risk Management. Kimberly is considered a subject matter expert in ADA and has significant focus on FMLA and ADA program development and oversight. As a highly sought after consultant, Kimberly provides educational and entertaining scenario-based training for new supervisors, experienced managers and human resource departments.
During her corporate career, Kimberly has had the pleasure of providing services to many Fortune 100 clients.
Kimberly T. Webb, a native of Dallas, Texas is a graduate of Howard University and Texas Wesleyan School of Law. In addition to developing a successful corporate career, Kimberly is an accomplished author and a powerful speaker who leaves an indelible mark on all those who come in contact with her. In her spare time, Kimberly loves to write and has also been featured as a contributing writer for Edge and WorkComp Wire.