“My mother had a bigger vision for me.” These words shaped Mariah Morris, a nurse and public health advocate, as she transformed fear into a powerful motivator for growth. From embracing her millennial habit of “blaming her parents for everything” to thriving in the science of being nosy—epidemiology—Mariah’s story is one of resilience, determination, and grace. In this episode, Mariah shares how having a five-year plan, trusting her instincts, and embracing vulnerability led her to conquer challenges in nursing, public health, and motherhood. As she says, “Life does not stop,” and neither should your journey toward growth.
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Fear As A Motivator: Mariah Morris’ Journey Of Vision, Growth, and Grace
In this episode, we have an exciting conversation with Mariah Morris. Before we get started, first off, I want to thank everyone who has liked, subscribed, shared, and listened. We want to thank you in advance. Please continue to share the show with your friends and family. One of the things that we are talking about today is asking for help. When we started the show, I was a little bit reticent about spreading the news and asking for help because I didn’t want to impose upon people.
Asking for help has been a journey for me. They always talk about having that superwoman cape. I’m trying to put my cape to the side. I don’t need her all the time. I’m grateful that she has gotten me where I am. I remember when I first started working at my job, there was a case manager by the name of Vera. She said, “Let me help you.”
It was the first time in my work life that I felt safe, supported, and vulnerable enough to say, “Please, I would appreciate the help.” Now that I’ve been working at this particular organization for a little while, it has been to my benefit to say, “Can I get some assistance with this?” Medicine, as you know, is a team endeavor. As I start working, my favorite phrase is, “How are we going to be successful today?” Tell me about asking for help, Angela.
The topic itself had brought up so many areas of my life that probably if I had asked for help early on, it would have been easier. One of the most practical things that came up was this show. We knew what we wanted to do. We started talking about this years ago. We had our ideas. We knew our mission and why we wanted to do it. We did our homework as much as we could.
We planned, but at the end of the day, we needed help, so we asked for help with Podetize. It helps to curate our episodes. We asked for help in terms of using YouTube, getting things set up so that our audio was decent, and how to invite our guests. We asked for help. There’s a point in life where you realize you cannot do everything yourself. If you choose to go that route, you’re not maximizing your time and efficiency.
Life is hard. I’m throwing money at the problem at this point. Thank you, Lord.
We didn’t have a lot but we had some. It’s a blessing and it helps. It’s beneficial in many cases to know your limits and know when it’s no longer profitable to do things all by yourself and when to ask for help.
Meet Mariah Morris: What Made You Tick as a Young Person?
I certainly have asked for help from our guest, Mariah Morris. We have no relation. Maybe we’re distant cousins. Mariah Morris is a mother and a sister. She is a BSN and a fellow public health person. I’m super excited to talk about that. She is a Georgian. I think of Mariah as a truth-teller. Mariah Morris, welcome to the show.
Thank you. I’m so excited to be here. I’m a big fan.
Thank you. We were excited to have you on. I’m interested to know a lot of the great things you’ve done. As we like to get started and our audience always loves to know what made you tick from the beginning. What was it like as a young person? Did you know this is what you wanted to do?
Not at all. I was a young geek whose parents watched Autopsy all the time. Do you remember that HBO show? That was before 48 Hours and all these other shows. It was this one guy who was a pathologist who spoke through cases. I was weird and fascinated with that. I said, “I want to talk to criminals and crazy people like Charles Manson. I’m going to go into forensic psychology.” There was a program at UGA for that. I said, “That sounds good.”
My parents did not go to college so they didn’t know all the expenses. When I saw that it was expensive, it didn’t necessarily deter me but I also had a reality check. My dad was sick for most of my life. He had a spinocerebellar ataxia. That did not have a name back then. I didn’t see my dad walk. He was normal until 28 and then he started to slowly decline.
My older siblings were off with their lives. I was the last one. My parents are my best friend. I said, “I ain’t going to stop my life. Let me be real about this. Let me stay here in Columbus, Georgia, and go to school here but what I’m going to do?” My mom always spoke greatness over us, which was pretty impactful. She always said, “You’re going to be my doctor, lawyer, and accountant.” That’s what she said our whole life.
I said, “I may want to go on a medical field because you always told me but I don’t know what to do since I’m in Columbus. Columbus doesn’t have a forensic psychology program.” She said, “Do nursing.” I said, “Absolutely not. No. I’m not doing the nursing. I’ll do medical field but I’m not working at the bedside. I already take care of my father. That’s enough.” She was like, “You can always change. You’ll always have a job. You can have money.”
Moms are always right.
Ain’t she though? I have to admit that. Many years later, I’m still doing it. It was the best decision ever. That was my beginning.
I’m curious because I had a patient who was also interested in forensic psychology. There’s so much on television that makes it so shiny. Did you have any experience with mentors in that field?
We had a program at school in my high school. We were trying to cut through some things. The administrators at my high school were trying to do new things. They did have a program where it was like a ROTC program but they also had a police officer teaching a course. He would bring in guests. There was a forensic psychologist who came in. That was a young lady. I was like, “This is awesome. I get to meet somebody in this realm. It doesn’t seem far away.” I even went to tour at the lab at the GBI.
The Georgia Bureau of Investigation.
It didn’t seem so far-fetched that I wouldn’t normally think. The real experience I received was in nursing. Psychology is fun to study but being in it is a different story. You have to have a powerfully strong mindset to even face the fantasized world of crime shows and everything. You have to come to the reality that it’s real. You’re watching real murders here, even though it looks shiny. On every other channel, you could see a show. It brought it in perspective and it was like, “This is a real goal that I can achieve. Let me chill at home and take care of my father with my mom.”
Things are as it should be. I’m happy to hear that because that’s for the younger audience and even for those who are choosing to change careers. It’s so important to try to get some exposure to what things are like in the field that you think you’re interested in before you jump all ten toes in the water. Thank you for that.
No worries.
Growing Up in Columbus, Georgia
Mariah, you are a Georgia peach from Columbus, Georgia. For those of us who are from outside of Atlanta, we think the only thing in Georgia is Atlanta. No disrespect to President Carter. You hear planes in America but you think solely Atlanta. Tell our audience about growing up in Columbus, Georgia. What I’m also interested in you sharing is if I remember correctly, did you major in nursing as an undergrad or did you come back to that?
I focused on that because I still was trying to achieve psychology as well. I chose nursing as my major because I had to get a job in four years. That was my goal. Psychology seems a little bit of a long, tedious road. I don’t see any money at this time so I need some money. It was all fun and games in your first two years. I was, “I’m thinking about the psychology route. Let me see how I could put some more classes in there and finesse this a little bit more. I could concentrate on applying for that nursing program in my junior year maybe.”
Something was like, “Go ahead and do the nursing thing. It’s a little bit more stable. This a little bit easier to reach in the four years.” I’m happy I did because my dad passed while I was in nursing school. I could only imagine doing psychology and hitting that wall. I’m so happy that you all mentioned asking for help because that has been a struggle forever for me. I became extremely vulnerable after my dad passed. Many people helped me pass. Nursing school is ridiculous.
After that, I still had problems asking for help. People saw that I needed it because I found out at nursing school when I was in class. Everyone knew about it when I got back. Eyes were on me like, “Why are you here? You still came back to school.” I didn’t have to ask. They saw that and I encountered some great people.
I’m hearing a similar story. Sylvia can share what she experienced in medical school, which is the same thing. It speaks to both of you and already having a foundation of good people around you. Hopefully, they will step up when you need them most.
It was a special thing that you don’t realize when you’re twenty. You look back and you’re like, “I wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t have these people.”
These angels show up.
That shows back up, Ms. Sylvia, you work with Stephanie. I forgot her last name but I went to nursing school with her. She was one of those angels. We didn’t see each other for fifteen years and then she popped back up. We were working at the same place.
I did not know that.
The night shift Stephanie.
Mariah, you’ve mentioned several people so far, in particular your mom and your dad, your best friends. I’m assuming they’re going to be in this category but I don’t know if you want to expand on it. Can you tell us about some of the important people in your life, what they mean to you and why?
You get older and realize how much they accomplished in less time than you did.
Everyone is on their own journey.
You still marvel at it like, “They were going through this at this age. I’m at this age. Could I have gone through that?” That’s amazing to me. My father and mother didn’t see anyone go to college and speak that over their children. My dad was in the military and went through this disease, not knowing what was going to happen and the outcome but knowing that he had to take care of his children. He made sure he bugged the VA and went to the VA every day. He was like, “I have to get things set up and together.” He was the reason we were able to go to college and not have any worries financially about that. My mom, the silence enthusiast, doesn’t tell you what to do but she nudges you.
It seems like such a huge force, this wonderful presence. As long as I’ve known you, I know about your mom.
Everybody knows about my mom. I listened to her with nursing and some things that went my home route. I can’t do that. She had a bigger vision, even though you see what’s right in front of you. I’m like, “I’m around these people who haven’t been to college. They don’t know what it’s like. Why is she telling me to go back to school two years after I got out of nursing school? Doesn’t she know how hard that was?” I should have listened to her on that one.
She’s willing to fill you in with gems but you got to hear her. She’s not telling you what to do, just a slight nudge. I’m a Millennial who blames our parents for everything. She comes from an era where people had a lot more grace for their parents. You saw their flaws and them as humans. You still said, “That’s who they are. I still love them.”
Millennials tend to blame. I was like, “Mom, there are so many things I wanted to do. Nobody would tell me I want to open a business but I didn’t know anything about business loans.” She went the other way. I thought back and I was like, “She did tell me to take that business class.” She did tell me to do so many things that I forgot about conveniently.
Life doesn't stop. Share on XWhen my dad passed away, you get in this bubble. You don’t know what to do. For two weeks, you’re in mourning. She snapped me out of it and said, “What are you going to do? Do you want to go back to school? Life doesn’t stop.” I was like, “You are so right. Life did not stop.” She led me on that journey. Not to say I haven’t met great people along the way, which I will mention later but those are the two main people. It’s cliché but it’s true.
Career Advice: What Should Aspiring Nurses Know?
Give your parents flowers. It’s important. Mariah, what do you tell young people who come to you and say, “I want to be a nurse and go to nursing school?” What’s your advice to them?
I do tell them what I didn’t do and I didn’t know how to do. I still don’t. I do tell them to please take the 5-year or 10-year plan seriously. Where do you want to go in this? Think about it. You will hear a lot about nursing. You have to be called to nursing. I felt like I didn’t get called to nursing but I cared about people. I feel like I still did a pretty good job in nursing.
You’re an excellent nurse.
If you're worried about money, you really have to rethink things because nursing may be fulfilling, but it can be very trying. It's not always about money. Share on XThank you. Where do you want this to take you? Do you plan on making a higher salary? If you’re worried about money, you have to rethink things because the medical field can be very trying. It’s not always about money. You’re going to have to put in a lot more than you think you are. They tell you how to protect your back but your back is still going to hurt.
Speak a little bit more about the physical endurance and labor that’s required for nursing.
I’ve seldom worked at places where there was a full staff and you didn’t have to do things on your own. You can ask for help. That’s the thing that’s set me back from asking for help in the medical field. Sometimes there’s nobody to help. You have to figure things out. The machinery and technology that they’ve come up with to assist you and save your back and knees mostly we need two people to operate them safely. You may not have a second person.
The patient could be 300, 400, or 500 pounds.
In nursing as well, psychologically, you have to also guard yourself because the people you’re working with are in their most vulnerable state. Sometimes that most vulnerable state leads to anger and they will take it out on you. That includes a 300-pound person asking, “Can you give me your hand?” You can’t give them that hand because they will put all their weight on that hand. You would think, “I did something as simple as giving a hand.”
You end up in the OR with back surgery or you’re off for three months because your back is out of whack.
It’s not far to reach either. That’s 5 to 10 years. I break it down to that. Think about that aspect. How do you want to grow? I was an introvert so nursing raised me.
I find that hard to believe.
An extroverted introvert.
I was completely introverted. You ask Ms. Stephanie. She encountered me after Dad passing too so that did the job. She was, “You never knew Mariah was in the room. She didn’t say anything.” It’s like meeting a completely different person. That was fifteen years later. Nursing raised me. I had to speak to people and get out there. One thing that encouraged me to do nursing was this is going to force me to talk to people and be that people person that I was afraid of. That’s what continued on my journey, not just funding but how I want to grow individually.
I do encourage young people to think about your five-year plan, even as simple as, do you want to make a higher income? Look at nursing and what nurses make within their starting year in five years. Think about the trauma that you may face in those five years of nursing. Is that worth it? Do you want to expound a little bit more and do nurse practitioners? Nurse practitioner has grown me financially. All my nursing life, I used to run into people who said, “How would I do that when I’m getting paid the same amount now?”
I’m going to add something for our audience to consider. The best nurse practitioners I know were stellar bedside nurses for more than 3 to 5 seconds. All of those things that you learn, whether you’re at the bedside, ER, or ICU, all of those skills, techniques, and spidey senses serve you well if you decide to become a nurse practitioner. I am not a huge fan of nurses who work for two years and then they’re in school. I’m like, “No, girlfriend or boyfriend.”
You encounter that more too. I do encourage that because that was different when I started nursing. You didn’t get out of school and say, “I want to be a nurse practitioner.” You said, “Let me get my experience and get comfortable being a good nurse.” To take it even further back where you didn’t have people who went to specialties right away. You had nurses who said, “Let me get good at this, be a nurse first, and then I’ll go to the OR and ER.”
Times have changed but I continue to encourage. You will get stuck sometimes. That nurse who was a nurse for five years said, “Maybe I’ll do nurse practitioner,” and then looked and said, “It’s been ten years and I’m still considering. It’s fifteen years and I’m still considering. Is it worth it?” Where do you see yourself even if it’s financially? Sometimes I couldn’t think beyond my pocket. Think beyond that. It’s hard, especially with times.
Asking For Help: The Power Of Mentors
For the younger audience, let’s say, a nursing student or even a medical student. We’re telling them to project 5 years or 10 years down the line but if you’re not looking at those who are doing it or asking the questions for those who are doing it or seeing some mentors in front of you who’s doing it, it’s hard to project what you want. It’s hard to come up with that.
Going back to our first topic, you need to ask for help. You need to ask somebody that you respect who has done the thing and say, “How do I plan for 5 years or 10 years down the line? What are my options? What could I be looking at?” You don’t necessarily need to ask somebody what to make your plan for you but at least to expose you to what it could look like.
Sometimes you don’t know the questions to ask. Asking for help is a skill. I said that to my niece. “We have to get in the practice of knowing what to ask. What do you need?” Sometimes you don’t know what you need but you take baby steps subconsciously towards it. I’m from Columbus, Georgia. When I started nursing, we still had it where the doctor came into the nurse’s station. You stood up and gave your seat. We were stuck in a blast from the past.
I was the only woman of color sometimes in a unit. It wasn’t intimidating at the time so much because I didn’t know any different from that. Sometimes, money will be a motivating tool even though you have to consider your health and well-being. I know what I want. I did have to look at my pocket. I was like, “These nurses are retiring making $30 an hour. I can’t do that. I need to leave Columbus. How am I going to do that when all I’ve known is home? My parents are my best friends. I know I’ll leave them. One of them has left me. I’m scared to leave the other one. What’s going to happen here? I got to leave home and do something.”
I did travel nursing and that got me out of Columbus. I was able to see people who looked like me and people who were doing more than me. I do encourage young people that if you’re intimidated by that person in the room who you think is all that, go talk to them. Go have a conversation because you’re probably not that far from them. Take it a step further than you think you can take it. We’ll have a conversation. Don’t stay with what you would call like-minded people. Go talk to someone who you feel is doing better than you because then you can see yourself in them.
That’s great advice.
We all want to talk about ourselves. Coming across that rare person who is maybe not friendly or doesn’t want to share and isn’t vulnerable, that’s not the person for you to talk to anyway but having the conversation with someone who wants to share and have the observation. They’re doing some cool stuff, “I like what you said about X.” I learned so much at work. I like to sit closest to the nurse’s station because then I hear all the conversations. I also learned what’s going on with the patients faster.
Public Health And The Science Of Being Nosy
You pick up on conversations about investments, people who are buying real estate or doing crypto, they had this new recipe for a pound cake, their mom is sick, or whatever it is. We learn collectively from each other. That’s a part of me asking for help and part of the reason why we are doing this show. Mariah, I want to pivot our conversation and talk about public health.
You and I are public health people. I love public health. Going to public health school is the best thing that I’ve done because it helps me think about populations. The reason I became a physician is so that I could help people. Public health school does a great job of training you to think about communities. Can you share with our audience why you went to public health school? In particular, please tell us what epidemiology is. I took one class in public health school and was like, “I’m done. I’m out.”
Epidemiology, especially in school, seems tedious and repetitive. It’s like, “Where am I going?” That’s what it seems like. When I took a closer look at it, epidemiology is a great way of being nosy. I am a nosy person. It’s the study of certain diseases and populations. Don’t you hate it in the medical field where people think you’re being nosy? It’s like, “Girl, I am. That’s what I’m here for. I need to know all of the business. All the teeth and dirt, give it to me. I don’t hold nothing back.” They’re like, “You’re being too personal.” “No, that’s my job.”
Epidemiology allows you to be nosy for science’s sake, for health’s sake. Share on XEpidemiology allows you to be nosy for science’s sake and health’s sake. When the pandemic hit, as nurses and medical professionals, that took a very big mental toll not only personally but also professionally. You were going back and forth with your peers about vaccinations and whether or not you’re going to take it, masks, and stop causing hysteria amongst the patient population. You’ll have medical professionals coming out of nowhere saying, “Those aren’t the proper masks to wear in front of patients.” It’s like, “What am I supposed to do with this patient?” If they’re already scared, I’m scared. It took a large toll.
Susan Johnson Kennedy and I were debating about the vaccine. She said, “Why don’t you trust the science? The science is out there. If you’re not going to trust the science, then what are you here for?” I said, “That’s a word. Let me go learn more about science and go back to school.” I’ve been debating it for quite some time to be that nosy person to figure out these diseases. I said, “Let me go try it. Susan said a word.” I went to Emory Rollins School of Public Health.
That is a big deal. It’s one of the premier public health schools in the nation. You did do this while working?
Yes, two jobs. It was crazy but I did it. Speaking positivity, my mom said, “You’re going to be my doctor who goes to Emory.” I said, “Look at that full circle thing.” I didn’t even mean to do that. Who knew? That’s what I did. I even worked as a nurse.
Was it an epidemiologist at the nursing home?
It was the infection prevention at the nursing home, which took a huge toll working in that setting and learning more about how to plan and design. During COVID, we had to think about infrastructure and how patients were going to see their families or residents. It helped me think about the population but it also brought into mind the disparities that we face. That was a big eye-opener and a big history lesson. That is the best thing that I could have done. Ms. Sylvia wants to go to public health school as well.
For the audience who has been a mother, is a mother, or wants to be a mother, it’s because of epidemiology that we take so many more precautions with Black maternal health. Knowing maternal morbidity and mortality in our country, epidemiology has been out there for a long time we do so much worse than other wealthy countries.
When the stats started to come out about how there was such a disparity among Black mothers, as an OBGYN, I take care of patients all the same. It’s because we have more high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity. When the studies started coming out, I was like, “There’s more to this.” We need to pay attention. Not that we have anything under control but at least, it shined a bright light on the disparities in that regard. Thank you for what you do and for being interested in the field. It makes a big difference in all aspects of our lives.
That’s awesome that you said that because it showed how important a number is. With these studies, stats, and epidemiology, it narrowed down. We see a population but let’s break that population down. What do these numbers and spaces look like? Let’s put a face to the number. That was the most fascinating part. You see the disparities in the population. I honor that.
Motherhood And Grace: How Has It Changed You?
It uses the language. We say that there are disparities but unless you can speak in the language with the data and what the data says, then we cannot move the needle and influence policy. It’s about resources for communities. We’ll leave that for another conversation. Mariah, you are a mom. Tell us about Ms. Lila Grace. I love her name. How has motherhood changed you?
As a person who wanted to be a big kid forever, it has changed me immensely. Past 30, when you don’t have any children, you look at everybody who does and you’re like, “I don’t want to do that. That seems like a lot of work. I will try to be my kid self forever.” As a woman, and no one says this out loud, when you go past 30, you have to have serious conversations with yourself because you see everyone have kids. You see your parents have kids before you reach that age.
You’re like, “Do I have to talk myself into not having children? Do I have to accept that truth? Am I not going to have children? Can I accept that truth?” I did for quite some time but it feels like you’re missing a milestone almost. Being a mom has grown me up more. Ms. Susan Johnson Kennedy made me trust science. She was like, “Your brain changes when you have a child.” I was like, “That’s a myth. You don’t understand. I sleep hard. I ain’t going to hear this baby.” She’s like, “No, your brain changes. The spidey sense that you’re going to feel is mother intuition. It’s a real thing.”
I was like, “Susan, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” As a mother of five, she does know what she is talking about. You notice you hear every little noise that she makes. You’re not getting any sleep. You can say bye to that. It changed how I spend my time because I never thought I would stop working two jobs. That’s been my thing. It wasn’t even money. It was a different atmosphere. I can’t deal with this job all the time. “Let me go and see how I like it over here and then make me more appreciative of going back to this other job.”
I was doing that for a little bit after I had Lila Grace. I said, “I can’t do this anymore. I feel like I’m missing stuff.” She made me sacrifice. The sacrifices that I thought were the cliché thing that you hear moms make, I had to do it. I had to make those sacrifices. Her middle name is supposed to be Giselle but I named her Grace because, as the words of Ms. Sylvia, I had to have a lot of grace for myself.
I am my worst enemy and critic. While I was pregnant, she was like, “You got to give yourself more grace.” Jimmy Robbins was like, “I want her name to be Grace.” I was like, “It’s not.” My mom was like, “I think my nickname for her is going to be Grace.” I keep hearing this thing. It’s the maternal health rate, death rate, and risk for women of color. I had preeclampsia. I was eclamptic. Your life flashes before your eyes and you keep thinking.
You were working a lot.
Until I was due and that baby gave me grace.
We were worried about you. We prayed for you.
It’s a powerful thing to say that you're going to pray for someone. That's the best gift you can give. Share on XI felt it. When you say you’re going to pray for someone, that’s a strong thing to say because that’s the best gift you can give someone. All that baby gave me was heartburn through those two jobs, going through orientation eight months pregnant, and another job. Everybody looking at me like, “What are you doing here? Please, don’t deliver today.” Any move I made where Ms. Sylvia and I worked was like, “What’s wrong? What are you doing?” I was like, “I’m having heartburn. I’m rubbing my stomach. Can I do that?” “No. You got to go home. Do you need to go home?” “No, I can’t waste my time.”
The internist was like, “I’ll write you a note for the pregnant lady.”
“If you have to go home, get out of here please.” If I’ve been down the wrong way, it’s like, “What are you doing?” How many eyes are on me? These people are stalking me. It was an amazing experience. It left me at my most vulnerable, I feel. It brought that help thing on me. I didn’t have to ask for help. It was presented. That was almost something new that that was the hardest thing. She’s grown me up a lot.
Thriving on Fear: How Do You Make Big Decisions?
You’ve done a lot in your life thus far. You have gone to nursing school and public health school. You’re a mother, which is the ultimate job in and of itself. Along those lines, tell us what you use to make the determination to make one leap to the next on your journey.
I thrive off of my fear. I’m like, “ I’m not going to let myself stand in my way.” What’s been my biggest hurdle is myself. I was trying to get over myself. What is going to work best for me to be a well-rounded individual? I felt like I was weird as a child because it was just me, my parents, and isolation. I wanted to be alone all the time but I knew that the world doesn’t work like that.
What am I somewhat fearful of? How can I get over that? Travel nursing. I was terrified of leaving home. I went to the furthest place. One of the first places was Colorado of all places. It was a great experience. Working at CHOA was so scary for me. I was like, “Let me go ahead and do it.” I was doing adult medicine because I didn’t like adults at the time.
Children are so great to take care of because I feel like they come there against their will. You torture them and they still say thank you. You give them that lollipop or popsicle and they’re like, “You’re my best friend.” We can get over that needle stuff. With adults, not so much. They’re not very forgiving. I was able to get into it. I love my adults for who they are. I had a fear that I went towards. I need to accomplish some bigger fears but I’m going to take them by the reins pretty okay.
Fear propels you and reveals areas that you feel like you need to grow. You have taken the reins and moved towards that versus a lot of people who get trapped by their fear, revert, and move backward instead of forward. I love that that is part of your makeup.
My biggest fear was being isolated and I can’t help anyone. I went away from my biggest fear towards my other fears that I knew would get me somewhere.
Women Supporting Women: How Can We Do Better?
I honor the fact that you use fear as a motivator. That is fantastic. You and I have probably twenty years of age difference. You’ve talked a lot about Susan. Susan is more my peer group. How can women support each other better?
That’s funny because Susan and I had that conversation when I called her. You avoid calling people because you know you’re going to be on the phone for a long time.
There will be no quick conversation with Susan.
I fear I had to get over it. If you ever meet her, she is an open book and the most honest person. She said that I’m her mini-me. We’re so transparent. If we’re feeling a certain type of way, we’re going to let you know. I’m not going to have a bad day and you do not know but you don’t have to guess. Every field does but I feel like nursing mostly puts you in a situation. You have to team together to work for patient care. You work with a lot of people you do not like. You have these conversations with them.
I don’t think Susan has an enemy because she’s so honest. If she doesn’t like something you’re doing, she points it out. You have to confront it then and there. You don’t dwell on your feelings. I told her, “I’ve had a lot of hard conversations with you.” We were able to talk it out and we were respectful. We went about our day. It was refreshing to have that honesty.
As women, we should be more honest, open, and transparent with one another. We are our own worst enemy. We root for each other but our actions don’t necessarily show that as much. I will say it but what are we doing? I’ve told Jimmy, “You’ve only been successful because you’re a man,” but that’s not true. Jimmy is the hardest-working dude. I was like, “You’re just a pretty man. That’s it.”
I take it Jimmy’s a nurse.
He is a nurse practitioner. I’ve worked with Jimmy forever. I didn’t even mean to but we keep following each other. I was like, “You just got here because you’re a pretty man,” but that’s not true. I’ve seen women support Jimmy, not to say that that’s where he got to where he got but I feel like it at least made the road at least a little bit more pleasant where it seems like as women, we take the hard road for no reason. Let’s stop working against each other silently together, work together, and be transparent and honest.
Is that jealousy or our inner insecurity? Is that not us wanting to be vulnerable? Is that fear of somebody taking my stuff? Where does that come from?
Honestly, that’s all of it. You have to get over yourself. As women of color, it’s hard. I didn’t want to be the person who had to work harder than everybody else. Why? That’s a reality that you may have to accept. What are you supposed to do? Let that stand in your way and get over yourself. You will find a nurse that may help you but you also find nurses who will watch you drown and say, “I had to do it. Why can’t she learn that same way?”
We have to understand the road and the goal is for things to get easier, not harder. Share on XWe have to understand that the road and goal is for things to get easier, not harder. We deal with iPads. We don’t deal with a little pocket organizer. We advance and evolve. Women need to get over a little bit of the trauma. We are the most educated and hardest working but we can’t be bitter about that. We take that out on one another.
We have to continue to speak this truth that we’re talking about. Acknowledge it. It’s real. Whether or not we verbalize or acknowledge jealousy and envy, you have to ask yourself. If you’ve seen your colleague and friends do something great and you smiled and liked it if it’s social media but you didn’t reach out and tell them how great a job they’ve done, why is that? What held you back from lifting that person and letting them know that they are seen? One of the reasons why we have this show is to share, stories, and shout out the stories but more importantly, lift each other in this journey so we can make the paths of our daughters so much greater and easier.
Self-Care: What’s Your Practice?
That becomes even more relevant when you have a child. These nieces and nephews, you love them like your children but you wish them the best so you keep moving. They’ll be okay.
Mariah, before we get you out of here, we always ask our guests about their self-care practices. I know that you are a new mother and a nurse. You wear lots of different hats. Can you share with us how you practice self-care? If you’re not exactly where you’d like to be given where all works in progress, what do you envision or aspire your self-care practice to be?
I’m a work in progress. I hear you ask all of your guests that and I’m like, “I don’t know.” My focus has been more so on my diet, which I need to change. It’s baby steps.
Are you still drinking that okra water?
No. That was a thing I tried out. I do still try to do my bitter melon. My mom’s been awesome about making bitter melon tea.
That works for diabetes if I remember correctly.
A bunch of stuff. I’ve been trying to do that. My biggest focus is to stop eating out. What we celebrate ourselves in can slowly kill us. I used to work a lot. If I’m stressed and I feel like I deserve a cookie, I’m going to get it. If I deserve to eat at Chick-fil-A, I’m going to do it. I’m focusing more so on home meals but my biggest self-care has been getting enough sleep.
How are you doing that?
It’s having Grace for myself. I don’t know how new mothers do that. Sleeping with the baby thing was impossible for at least eight months of her life. I’ve learned to go ahead and take that nap with her. It’ll be okay. Whatever needs to get done, it’ll get done. Go ahead and lay down or go take a moment to yourself. When she’s napping, reads a book. For the most part, sleeping with the baby, I couldn’t do it because I had so many other things to do while she slept that I couldn’t get done while she was awake. I have been learning to do that.
Final Thoughts: Building A Legacy And Thriving On Fear
That’s wonderful. Restorative sleep affects so many parts of our lives like our psyche, mood, health, and vitality in general. Good for you. Thank you for sharing that. As a mother of a young baby, all the more reason to celebrate what you’re concentrating on because it will make such a difference in how you perform outside and at home. Mariah, it’s so nice to get to know you and hear about your journey. We are so incredibly proud of all the things you’ve accomplished thus far and making your boss leaps along the way. I look forward to hearing more.
Thank you. It’s my pleasure. This was awesome.
Mariah, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. Where can our audience follow you on social media?
Social media is a work in progress as well but I’m @MediocrelyBest on Instagram.
I was wondering who that was.
That’s me but it’s under construction so there’s more to that. We can start out. We could take baby steps.
Mariah Morris, we thank you. We wish you well and may you be well.
Thank you all.
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Sylvia, that was an amazing interview. I learned so much every time we do this. It’s incredible. Everybody’s story is different. What you get from a simple conversation and what inspires you. I can say that it was interesting for me to hear Mariah say that fear has propelled her. Fear for some people can be completely crippling and a roadblock that they never get around.
She acknowledges that she uses that to move forward and learn to push that roadblock away. I love that. It’s the validation that it’s still important to get your sleep. For a new mom, however you can get it and not feel guilty. You can’t conform to what everybody says you should do. You have to do what’s right for you. Acknowledge that early. The earlier you can, the better, and not sacrificing if you don’t have to.
The third thing I thought was interesting about Mariah is that she acknowledged that she started as an introvert. Certain people think, “This is the way I am. This is the way I’m always going to be.” She challenged that. Maybe she’s an introvert at heart but not necessarily in how she performs outside and challenges herself to change some of that narrative about herself. We could go on and on about the pearls but I want you to share what you felt during the interview.
I’m grateful that Mariah took some time to talk with us and our audience. As a public health person, one of the favorite things that she said is epidemiology is the science of being nosy. As an internist, that speaks to me because I like talking to people. What they tell you and what we can learn from it is important. Epidemiology is being nosy.
Also, the advice to go and talk to the person in the room who you feel may have it all together. That’s the person that you can learn from and hopefully get some advice from. I thought that that was important. Finally, the importance of mothers, those of us who are lucky enough to have wonderful mothers or mothers of choice. Also, how her mom spoke life over her. I thought that was beautiful and a reminder that mom is important.
That’s beautiful. I agree. I love that she acknowledged that. This has been another wonderful episode. I am full. I hope you’re full as well in our audience. Until next time. May you be well.
May you be well.
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About Mariah Morris
I am an ambitious Registered Nurse eager to add my enthusiasm to the world of Public health. When I embarked on my Nursing journey in 2009, my goal was to become a Pediatric Med/Surg Nurse. I have always seen myself as simple small-town girl. I anticipated being a great employee at the same company until I retire. I never knew I would have a steadily evolving career.
After serving 5 years as a Pediatric Med/Surg nurse of Piedmont Columbus Regional-Midtown, I assisted in opening their Pediatric Emergency Room. After leaving Columbus, GA, I began living a new dream of travel nursing which eventually landed me in Atlanta, GA working for a prestigious non-profit organization in their Advanced Care Center. There, I found my new love for adult urgent care.
During my 7-year tenure in Advanced Care, I continued to dabble in travel nursing until the COVID pandemic, as well a colleague/friend, inspired me to get my Master’s in Public Health with a concentration in Epidemiology (2023). Soon after graduation, I obtained my greatest achievement. I had my first child, Lilah Grace . Today, I work as a telephone triage nurse while raising my bestie. I still have hopes of one day utilizing my MPH as an employee at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).