No matter how challenging or complicated your life is as an author, always keep writing and continue telling stories. Valerie McDowell took this to heart, and it allowed her to live life to the fullest and offer inspiration to everyone around her. Joining Dr. Sylvia Morris and Dr. Angela Walker, she talks about falling in love with storytelling, which taught her to “write her way out” and embrace profound transformation. Valerie also explains why she desires to die empty and leave absolutely nothing on the table at the end of her life.
Music courtesy of Dealer’s Choice Sound Recordings, Inc.
Music artist: djezi
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Watch the episode here
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Keep Writing: Die On Empty With Valerie McDowell
Keep Writing
What Grounds You?
Welcome back to Boss Leap. My name is Dr. Sylvia Morris. I’m here with my co-host, Dr. Angela Walker. We had a fantastic conversation with Valerie McDowell, who is an author, a book editor, and a book coach. We had a fantastic conversation. Before we get into that, we are going to talk about what grounds us. Angela, what grounds you?
Being in nature grounds me, but more specifically, when we look at green space or blue space, definitely water. The most grounded that I can say I typically am is if I’m by the ocean, at the sea. It doesn’t have to be the best. It doesn’t have to be the bluest, but if I can hear the sounds of the ocean, the waves, the birds, the sun, all of the things, or saltwater, all of that grounds me. Even being at the lake. It’s not the same, but when you’re on the water, it doesn’t even matter. You can have high winds or low winds. You still see the ripples in the water. For me, when we talk about breathwork and taking that deep breath, it comes naturally. If I am there by the water, it’s natural where I take that deep breath in.
Do that sigh.
That grounds me. I have to do that on some type of regular basis. I’ve found out, maybe if I go to the pool, but not the same.
It is water. It is still the same thought.
Getting back to my old tradition of swimming.
You used to swim.
Yes. I’ve done more of that this summer. Those are things that ground me, being in nature in general. How about you?
I agree with you. Certainly, being at the water is grounding, but for me, it’s people. There are certain people in my life. When I’m with you all, our fellow co-authors, for a girls’ trip, that is grounding. It reminds me of who I am, where I’ve come from, and my place in the world. Anytime I spend with Uncle William, he grounds me. It reminds me of family and that I belong to people. I enjoy being in the presence of those whom I love. That, for me, is grounding.
That’s beautiful.
What we will do now, the next voice you will hear will be our guest, Valerie McDowell.
Welcome back to Boss Leap. We are sitting down with Valerie McDowell, writer, editor, and founder of the Book Coach Excel-erator. With a mission to help busy professionals finally write and publish their books, she is turning untold stories into powerful legacies. We’re talking clarity, confidence, and the power of getting your book done. I have to add. We had the honor of working with Valerie. I cannot say enough good things about the experience, but she was the final push in us getting our book published, The Game Plan: A Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Doctor and Living a Life in Medicine. Without further ado, I will welcome Valerie McDowell.
Thank you, Angela and Sylvia. I am so glad to be here. I’m excited. I’m even more excited that I got to be a part of your book journey. Thanks for having me on.
How Valerie Fell In Love With Writing And Storytelling
Thank you for coming. As far as getting the book done, you got our book done. We want to thank you at the outset. Valerie, tell us about your journey. When did you first realize that writing would be a central part of your life?
I have always been what I call a word girl. I’ve always loved words. I read the dictionary for fun.
You were a good spelling bee person.
Yes, I did a lot of spelling bees. I have lots of random information in my head, so I could be a contestant on Jeopardy. I love new words. I even wrote a little skit for kids to do a spelling bee. Words are a big part of my life. I even had a friend who wrote a note to me and said, “Words are your friends.” I love that. They are. They have comforted me. They have been the way for me to see life forward. Words have been a big part of my life. With words, you have books, so lots of books, and especially storytelling. I’m a big fan of narrative and storytelling, and the stories of our lives. There are so many stories that we don’t know. Having this as a foundation and base for my life has allowed me to connect with so many different people.
We’re so incredibly grateful for you. Our paths overlapped at the right time. Writing our book involves some of the stories that we had in getting into medicine. Having you on as a guest is full circle because Boss Leap was born out of the desire to tell women’s stories. There are so many powerful, inspiring stories that we’ve had so far, including your own, that not everybody gets to hear. We’re not necessarily in the media every day, but powerful stories, nonetheless. We’re grateful to have you here. Can you tell us if there was a pivotal moment or person who encouraged you in this life of storytelling?
There have been a number, and in different stages of my life. With some, it’s been a push, like the way people say, “You should write a book.” They’re like, “You should write something. You should be writing.” It normally came about because I was fixing or making something look better. If I hear someone say something or a resume, I’m like, “Can I see that for a second? Can I fix that up?” It started from school, doing more editing of projects and things. I was even part of a theater group at my church for a long time. I went from editing scripts to writing.
That was one of the pushes where they were like, “Why don’t you be the writer for this group?” I became the writer for our drama troupe. In a different life of mine, I met a program officer. When learning about my background, she’s like, “You can write your way out.” I was like, “Write my way out?” I had never heard it said that way. I love the turn of a phrase. When she said, “Write my way out,” she’s like, “If this is a gift, and this is something that people know you for, you can use that to navigate your way through whatever career you want. You can write your way out. Your life is the way you want it to be worked out.”
I’ve taken that to heart. It’s something I have on my wall. I keep it. If I run into challenges, it’s like, “What do you need to do? Maybe you need to write your way out of that.” There were several people in my life. Those two stand out from writing drama, because I ended up doing it for twenty years. I was like, “I need to put all of those things I wrote together in a package.” It is the backdrop for when things get challenging. “Do you need to write something?”
I’ve written letters to myself about what I want to see and how I want to see things happen. Sometimes, there’s even scripture related to that. Write the vision. Make it plain. Write the things down to see what we want to see. You first get it in your imagination, and then you need to write it down before you see it. Those have been some foundations for me.
Write things down to see what you want to see. Get it in your imagination first, then write it down before you see it. Share on XGreat reminders.
We all have the privilege of having gone to Georgetown. Certainly, Angela and I went to medical school there. You went to undergrad there. Can you talk about how your experience at Georgetown helped to shape your writing and then professionally as well?
I was a first-gen in my family to go to college, so I had to have that first opportunity. I’m the fourth of five kids. My three siblings ahead of me did not go to college and did not even take the SATs. No one in my family had gone to college, so it wasn’t something that we had experience with.
Where are you from?
I was born in Harlem. I’m a New Yorker. We moved to Jersey when I was in about fifth grade. I graduated from high school in Jersey. I came to DC to go to Georgetown. I came from those metropolitan areas to this during the time of Reagan. That dates me a little bit.
You look great.
The ‘80s are good.
I’m celebrating all year.
As you should.
It’s been quite a journey, but going to a predominantly white institution was a little challenging. There were not many of us on campus, undergrads, and probably not in the med school as well. You have to find your footing. You have to find a place where it works for you. I was in the business school. We didn’t have a building. There’s a whole fancy building now. We had a lot of fun things that were going on for those in the old school. They know about Soul Night. It’s when Black students came together on Sunday night, and students from different universities came. We would connect, dance, and have a good time on Sunday nights.
I think I saw several of those people at the Black Summit on the dance floor.
Yes, you did. They have a whole Levy Center. You can’t have what you had back in the day. That was the Healy building in the basement. I don’t even think anybody knows that that’s where everything took place. It was a vibe, as the young people say. It was a vibe back then. I had good experiences the further I got into my business classes. I was a marketing major. That led to how you talk about a product. How do you market it? How do you share and make someone want it? What’s the impetus to get somebody to buy your product, to want to have an experience with this thing you’re trying to sell to them? That stayed in the background as I did other things.
It was always about how we talk about something, how we write about something, and how we make people want or desire something that you have. Those skills stayed with me, like the product, packaging, marketing, and all of those foundational things you learn in a marketing course. Public speaking was a big part of it. I had a wonderful teacher who pushed me to get out there. I’m an introvert by nature. I say all my gifts are extroverted. I have extroverted gifts.
Everything I do has to be for other people. I have to talk. I have to get out in front. Because of those gifts, I’m able to use that. Georgetown was a great base. I’ve stayed connected with a number of students over the years, being part of the Black Alumni Summit. I did the Oral History Project at Georgetown. I’ve interviewed others, and they’ve interviewed me. It’s a wonderful experience to stay connected to see how the university has grown and how we as students have grown in our careers.
Identifying And Talking With Your Target Readers
We certainly know how you have helped us in getting our book out. We didn’t start from scratch with you. We had already written. You helped edit, pushed the entire project out to fruition, and made it become an actual product that we could sell, which we’re so grateful for. I can’t say that enough. I’m curious to know if you’re talking to a new writer, someone who’s never written. Can you tell them how you approach the writing process? Do you follow a strict routine, or is it more intuitive in how you write?
I would say it’s more the latter. It starts with a conversation. I like to find out what the story is that you’re trying to tell and who your audience is. Knowing who you’re writing to is key to writing the right story because not every story is for everyone. No book is for everyone. It is finding who that audience is, who that person is, and talking to them. You all spoke about The Game Plan. You’re talking to potential students, and you’re giving your own stories in it, where you’re talking about, “This is how I did it.” Someone needs to hear how you did it so it can resonate for them.
I also do what I call listening to your life. In that conversation, I often have people tell me as we’re talking, “Just tell me about your life. Tell me about your story.” It’s in those pieces that I start taking notes myself. If they have a title or something that they’ve been planning, like, “This is what I think my story is about. This is a story I want to tell,” sometimes, in that storytelling, I’m like, “Are you sure it’s that, because I’m hearing this?”
There’s an energy around a particular story or way they’re talking. They may not hear it because they’re focused on telling a particular thing. It could be something else, or at least that could be the first story they need to tell. Sometimes, people have multiple stories they need to tell. Some of the work is pulling them apart. That’s not one story. Those are three stories or three books that you need to write. Part of it is helping people get clear on the story they need to tell and who they need to tell it to.
How New Writers Can Overcome Writer’s Block
Certainly, an editor is crucial for all of those things. Our editor kept saying to us, “Be more personal. Tell us the story behind that. Give us some description around that.” That makes a difference in our book. The other thing that happens sometimes as you’re writing is you get to what we call a roadblock, or perhaps a writer’s block. How do you support writers through that period of difficulty?
That’s common. Sometimes, I joke about it because I was like, “Do you ever have an eating block?”
I should have an eating block, but I don’t.
You don’t have writer’s block. You’re just focused on the wrong thing. Sometimes it’s, “I don’t know where to start,” or “I don’t know where to start this chapter.” Having the conversation, it’s like, “What do you want to say?” It’s thinking about that story. It’s important to have an outline. All of those fundamental things we learned in school are good. When you were writing that paper in fifth or sixth grade, or middle school, “Write an outline.”
An outline is key because it helps you stay on track. You can always adjust it. At least create it, and it can adjust. That first chapter might need to be at the end, or you need to move something, but you need a frame to put that story in. I help people often with memoirs, for instance. It can’t be your whole life. What part of your life? I was born in Nutbush, Tennessee, in 1923. What part, or what are the ten highlights? Sometimes, there are stories that people tell all the time. It could be one of those. Our lives are so full. We have so many different aspects of it.
Do you want to talk about this part of your life? There’s a nonprofit side of my life, but then there’s an artistic side of my life. There’s a community-based part of my life. There’s a faith-based. What part of my life am I going to talk to? Sometimes, if I try to combine them all, the story is not cohesive. There’s no flow. If you find the story, you can weave in other parts of your life to it. What’s the underlying story you want to tell?
Do you want to tell someone how to have a successful career or how to find joy in the little things? What’s that story you’re telling? What’s the impetus for you? Why do you want to tell this story? I’ve had a couple. It’s funny. I don’t always work with couples or two people together. You guys were five individual women. This was a married couple. I was like, “Are you telling me the same story, or are these two different books here?”
There are two different parts of the story. That is interesting.
You have a different perspective on the same experience you’re having. You’re married to each other, but your experience of this marriage is different. I said, “What story are we telling together?”
What are we going to stick to?
Get your story straight.
That was a lot of the meetings. “She said this, and you said this. Which part of this, especially as we are writing a book about how to have a happy marriage?”
I can imagine that being challenging.
That book I put on the shelf for a second. I’m not a counselor. I don’t have those credentials. It sounds like there’s something else happening here. As I was saying, as I listen to your life, I’m listening for what you are not telling me. Sometimes, you want to tell a story, but you don’t want to tell the whole story.
That is because you want to make yourself look good or make the other person look bad.
The thing is, people respond more so to the real truth, the gosh darn dirty truth, because if you’re not honest and authentic, they can feel it. They can sense it through the pages. It could be that you’re hiding something that you’re ashamed of, or that you’re not proud of. I tell people, “We’re not doing exposés. We’re not outing people. If you’re not ready to tell a story, then maybe that’s not the story we need to tell.”
People respond more to the gosh darn dirty truth than lies. If you are not honest and authentic, they will feel it. Share on XThat’s what I think. If I think about writing something about my life, you’re automatically including others in that story. In and of itself, depending on who you are and how much you share, it can limit the story itself.
We’re not doing negative stories about people. Are you in a relationship? Can you tell this story successfully? If you’re crying throughout, you’re not ready. If you’re angry, that comes across, too. I could be reading something. We’re just having our one-to-one meeting, and it’s like, “I’m not sure if you’re ready to tell that.” Especially if you’re talking about your life, its ups and downs throughout. The thing is, the better story is how you got to the other side of that. That’s the story someone needs, that you can help someone with, rather than how to stay in a place because you’re not moving. I like to get to the joy, get to the hope, and get to the other side.
Helping People Get To Their Why
How do you help people get to that? There’s a lot of ego involved in writing a book, in particular, a memoir. How do you help people get to their why?
We all have an ego, and we all want to look good. I tell people often, “We’re going to take the titles off when we come into the meeting.” If you came to me and you want to write a book, you want to get it done. I don’t want to not finish, so I have a series of questions I often ask. It goes back to, “What’s the story we’re talking about?” We’ll do a series of questions. We got to fill each other out because it’s like building a relationship. Is this going to work? Am I going to like talking to you? Will I be willing to share with you?
I’ve had a couple of young men where it became an almost mentoring relationship. They were like, “You got stuff out of me I’ve never shared with anyone.” It’s a valuable relationship that I honor. I count as holy even because it’s a work you’re doing. People are allowing you into their lives. I have to respect it. They have to respect it as well, the process that I’m here to support you. I’m here to get the best story out of you and make you look good. If you look good, I look good.
People buy more books.
You’ll say, “This is the person helping with my book.” I’m honored that I get to be a part of so many different people’s lives. I’ve helped over about 50 people from start to finish. That’s a lot of time you spend with people to get that story out to get it completed. I did a lot of online courses, particularly during the pandemic, because people had nowhere to go. They were online. We walked through stories.
We talked about that first line. You’ve got to get their attention right away. It needs to be pow right away. Don’t just ease into it unless it’s a scary story, or unless you’re doing some fiction, suspense, or something. If you’re trying to get people’s attention, that opening line has to say something. It is getting people to understand, not just your story, but who it’s for, because you want someone to read your story. You want them to be engaged in, and to be like, “This is so good. I couldn’t put it down. I read it in one sitting.” You want that reaction.
I am curious how it would look. For us, we had a written product. We had used an editor, but at that point, we were trying to get it published. You helped us through the whole process within a matter of weeks, and we had a published product. For someone who is coming to you, who says, “I want to write a book about becoming a doctor,” I’m sure you can give prompts. What does the process look like? Is there a level of involvement that you could have with the client? For example, can you help me ghostwrite my book? Is there a certain amount of investment that I, the writer, make in that process?
With regard to investment, the investment is that we do a contract. You’re going to sign on a dotted line that this is what you want to do. I have a couple of packages that I do. One is a complete book coaching package. That’s from idea to publication. When you have nothing but ideas and nothing written down, then we start there. We’ll do a series of meetings. The first one is usually about two hours, where we talk and see what’s there and what comes about. I’ll say, “I think these are some good ideas.”
We talk about the commitment because you have to write. I will support the writing, but I’m not writing for you, unless you do the ghostwriting package. We’re still going to be talking and having conversations because I have to get your voice. I have to understand what your life has been, in order for me to capture those words on paper. I’ve had a number of people, and one I think about, off the top of my head, is a wonderful client. She’s like, “How did you know that?” I was like, “I was talking to you.” “I didn’t say that.” “That’s what I heard.” I’m listening for clues, cues, and even how you’re navigating your life. I also look to see what else you have done because sometimes, the path that you’ve taken is the story in your book.
Another option is, as you all had, an editing-to-publishing package where you do have some things. Whether it’s in order or not, we’ll clear that up. We do different rounds of editing, depending on whether we have to clean up the story. We have to put order, headings, and things like that. My team and I will work together on layout, cover design, and all the parts to get you to publish. It’s a process, like anything.
There’s the process after the book. If you were to make a film, there’s the promotion of the film when you see these people all over TV promoting Superman or Jurassic Park. It’s because that’s post-production. They’re trying to get you to go. There’s the post-production of even your book. How do you market this book now? How do you get it out? How do you let people know that you have this book out there?
The Myth Of Becoming A New York Times Bestseller
I would argue that that’s equally as important. It is one of the things that, going into it, I didn’t quite understand. I was like, “Our book is great. Everyone is going to want to buy this book.” If they don’t know about it, they can’t buy it. Can you talk along those lines? Is there something you wish that authors knew more about before they started working with you? Is there a myth that you’d like to dispel?
I’ll dispel the biggest myth. That’s the one where people come in and say, “I want to be a New York Times bestseller.” It is not a bad goal. It’s an amazing goal. It’s a wonderful goal. The first thing I will ask you is, “How big is your following? Do you have a minimum of 50,000 people following you now on social media?” If your following isn’t that, then unless you wrote something that a traditional person who’s seeking stories, it is like, “That’s it. That’s the book of the year. We’re going to give you upfront fees. We’re the ones that are going to do this, and that’s it.”
If that’s not the case, then you’re going to have to hustle and do some things, promoting it yourself in your different markets and connecting with newspapers, online newspapers, journalists, and other people. You have to grow and promote it yourself. You’ve got to get online. It’s like, “You need to come to my book signing. You need to come check this out.” You have to promote it yourself because that’s the era we live in now, unless you have a huge PR marketing budget. Even if with it, you have to be a part of that promotion as well. All the actors, like I was saying with movies, are out there promoting. They may do the lead, and then they do the supporting cast. If you all saw the movie centers, how many times did you see the multiple ways that they were promoting?
That was so easy on the eyes, though.
As I said, if I need a pair of Jordans, that’s the pair of Jordans I want.
Those are the ones. Back on topic.
That’s what happens in the conversations we have. We listen. We learn the things that you like. It’s like, “Maybe we can put that in the book somewhere.”
The Right Approach To Self-Publishing
It’s all very good intel. We went on our two-year anniversary. Certainly, there are things that weren’t necessarily in our conversation then, but definitely what we learned. You were helpful in that process in terms of, “This is what you’re still going to need to do.” You helped us publish. What do you wish more authors understood before choosing to self-publish as we did?
It’s similar to what I was saying about reaching with traditional publishing. Self-publishing is when you publish yourself, where you put it on different distribution sites yourself. If a traditional publisher has not gone to you, you have to hire a publicist. You have to hire and have multiple people. Unless you already have a platform, you’re already an actor, speaker, or celebrity in some way. For most of them, their books are ghostwritten. FYI, most of them don’t write their books. They’re used for promotional purposes.
A lot of times, it is the way to promote your business now, instead of a business card, which many people don’t have unless you do the dot card or the QR code. You don’t remember those thousands of cards that you collected, that is in a rubber band on your desk somewhere. Wait, where did I leave them? A book, especially if you put your photo on it in some capacity on the front and the back, then people say, “I remember.” That’s a way that they get to take you home. They get to remember you when you’re in their purse, their backpack, or something where they’re carrying you. They’re going to get to that, and they’re going to remember you.
That’s how that word of mouth travels because they can then give it to someone else to read. I know lots of people, their audiobook and their other type, but that physical book, there’s something about that that makes a difference because even with traditional publishing, getting to that final physical book in your hand lets people feel like I’m an author. I’m sure when you all got the book, The Game Plan, you’re like, “Look at her.” It’s a different feeling you have than if you were to send an email link with the ebook on it. It’s like, “Good.”
It’s good for certain uses. When you’re promoting yourself, when you want to share with someone, and even to introduce young people to what it’s like to go to medical school, that physical book, because they’re going to have a whole lot of big books they’re going to be using in medical school, is a quick read for them compared to all the other materials that they’re going to be using. It is knowing the purpose and the reason behind why you need to go down this route, what you’re even doing, and how you are benefiting society and the world with what you’re doing. This is a way to get out even the gifts and the callings in you.
Can Anyone Publish A Book?
Sidebar here, I am curious what your thoughts are on that level in terms of anyone can write a book and anyone can publish a book. There are thousands out there that are solely written to say that I have a book. There’s not necessarily the why or the who that you’re writing to or the mission or the service to someone else. Do you have any opinions?
Just that lots of people write their books, and they haven’t been edited. That would be a serious pet peeve of mine. They were told, “Just write it. Just get it done.” I believe there’s safety in the counsel of others. Let someone else see this. Let someone else observe what it is. Read it out loud.
Not just AI.
Yes, not just AI, because that’s huge now. AI can write it, but you still need to edit it because does AI know you? You can put in all kinds of things, but the essence of who you are. I have some testimonials. There’s one woman who is a descendant of Black Wall Street. She saw that both of her grandfathers were enslaved, and she’s alive. Her grandfather is like, “You could think about your grandfathers. Were they enslaved? No.” She’s alive and has two grandfathers who were enslaved in this country.
AI can write something for you, but you still need to edit it to reflect the essence of who you are. Share on XThey also came out of slavery and started businesses immediately. She has an amazing story. One of the things that she wrote or said in a video testimonial was that my background and the way she heard me and saw me edit her work was the linchpin to her saying, “Yes, this is the person for me.” That cultural competence and other types of competence, you’re not going to get with AI. You can get it done. It’s learning as you put in, but it still can’t duplicate life. It’s a robot. It does well. I don’t knock it. It’s in everything that we do pretty much now with technology. The thing is, you want that story to be read. You want to hear it. It needs to resonate. I read the book, Black Cake. I have lots of Jamaican friends. People think I’m Jamaican at times.
It’s a good book.
I have some black cake in my freezer from a wedding I went to. I saved a little bit. There is a Hulu show, Black Cake. It was six episodes or so. Reading the book and then seeing the film version of it, it’s like, is it the same? It’s a different experience. There’s the cultural experience for people of Jamaica. There’s the experience of immigration, moving from one place to another. How do I adjust? How do I leave behind who I am and become someone new? How does that part of me still remain? There are so many layers in that story.
Just like when we’re talking about centers, there are so many layers and things from that story, from the South, from businesses, from the Chinese business, being in the middle of different things. If you’ve lived in any of these areas, you’ve seen that or heard family members or ancestors talk about that. It’s so important that as we tell these stories that the real you comes out. Nothing beats authenticity. Robots can’t beat it. You can use AI for what it needs to be useful, but when you’re telling your story, it’s so important to have a heart for your reader. That’s who you want to change a life for. When someone gets your book, you want them to go to medical school and be successful like you all are.
Or not go to medical school because they have an understanding.
I was going to say, or read through and see what the challenges were. What were the struggles? What were the things? How do you navigate relationships? How do you navigate kids? That book helps them have a real-life view from real-life people, and women who did it and looked good doing it, like you.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Finding Everything You Need Within You
What does success look like for you now? How would you define it?
It’s in different stages of life. I turned 60. A few years ago, I wrote a book myself called Power to Excel. That’s the underlying name of my business because I believe that everything we need is inside of us. As we live through life, what else is there? At 60, what else is there to do? What else is there inside of you that you haven’t done? Sometimes, it’s leveraging what you already have. The writing is a through line for most of my life. What else have I not done in writing? I started film. I started writing a movie. It’s in pre-production. I haven’t completed it.
I was going to come full circle with all those stories that you wrote at church.
The thing about it, it’s a story from the past and things you don’t think about. I pulled it out of a yearbook. It’s like, “I forgot about that.” Even for people of color, we are having more love stories out in this universe of film. We are having Black and Brown love stories out there that are told authentically, that’s told from our point of view. We’re not the sidekick. We’re the main characters in this. The filmmaker I was working with, that’s something that’s in her portfolio.
It is being able to tell stories in a different way. I’ve done theater. Film is a different medium because it’s up close. You see a camera focusing on an eyelash. On the stage, it’s big, loud, and proud. It’s a different way of telling a story. With the theater, you have your audience, and it’s intimate. I saw Denzel Washington, a fellow, earlier. It was before they closed down on Broadway, but that was an amazing experience. I’m like, “I’m in the room with Denzel.” I go way back, as I wrote. He’s been fine my whole life.
It’s the same.
It’s like, “Yes, I will see that and whatever else he’s in next.”
It sounds like success to you means continuing to grow the gifts that you already have. It is not necessarily trying to find some new form of Valerie, but expanding the natural gifts that you have, or even reaching back.
They say we only use about 10% of our brains. What’s it like to mine 5% more? If we’ve gotten this far with 10%, add another 5% or 10% and see how much further you can go, and also who you can bring with you. I love mentoring. Some mentoring is organic. I don’t even look for it, but women in their 20s, usually a little independent and away from home, fall into my sphere. It becomes a natural thing. I am helping them to navigate life at that stage. At every stage of our lives, we’re either giving or receiving and sometimes both.
It is being open to it because we have so much at our disposal sometimes. We don’t realize it because we haven’t learned to tap in. A lot of what Power to Excel is for me is tapping in. What’s in you that you haven’t used? What do you have that someone needs? The more you give out, the more you have to give. To me, it duplicates. Exponentially, it keeps coming back to you. I don’t have a scarcity mindset, as they call it, but one of abundance, that I don’t feel that if I give out, I’m going to be lacking. If I give out, it expands the universe of people and the connections I have.
The more you give out, the more you have to give. Share on XIt comes back.
I Want To Die Empty
If your life were a book, what would the title of your chapter be right now?
I Want to Die Empty.
Tell us more.
Continuing to where we were, be used up. I want to do everything that I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to leave anything on the table. Learn how to not hold things too tightly. I know in my own life, I’ve stayed places too long. We may have situations where we’ve stayed in a relationship too long, but not holding onto things too tightly might be the reason for you being uncomfortable, or because it’s time to move.
That’s wisdom.
Thank you. What’s the next thing that I need to do, next place I need to go, and next person I need to meet? I’ll add to that. Travel is a big part of my life. Often, I will travel by myself. The people in my life finally understand that I’m okay doing that.
Is that something new for you, or have you done that?
I’ve done it for a couple of decades. I go places with people, but I go lots of places by myself.
Do you have a favorite place that you’ve been for solo travel?
I will say Greece. I was in Greece on Mother’s Day on a boat with a lovely captain and said to myself, “I’m on a boat on Mother’s Day in Greece.” I love traveling the world. I’m already planning my Ghana trip.
Have you been before?
Talk to Sylvia.
I have not.
We’ll have to talk offline. I’ve been twice. It’s fantastic.
I need to hear about Greece.
I’m that type of person. I’m like, “How are you? I’m Valerie.” I was in Mexico. The woman was from Iowa, and the man was from Indonesia. They were married.
Where did they meet?
I want to hear this story. The storyteller in me is intrigued by the different people I meet when I travel. I find that if I go with people I know, then we’re going to talk about stuff we know. If I go independently, then I’m a little bit more open to more organic experiences and things that happen. I see things that I may not have seen before when I’m by myself because I’m observing stuff differently. That has worked for me. I come back with lots more engaging stories and not just, “We did this together, and then we did that.” There are a lot of things that you will normally do when you’re with groups, but when you have a different eye or lens on things. It’s a different experience. I’ve enjoyed that.
Exploring The Benefits Of Stretch Therapy
I love that. I would include travel potentially as part of a self-care regimen. Can you give us any more about what your self-care regimen looks like?
Massage and stretch therapy. I was like, “I pay a lot of people to touch me. Pull this and this.”
Tell me more about the stretch therapy.
Have you never done stretch therapy?
I’ve not, and I’m interested. I imagine I should know this, talking to patients, because I talk about yoga and all the things we should be doing and stretching.
It is the hands-on. Particularly, we’re in this Zoom environment. We sit a lot. As a writer, I sit a lot. I am getting these muscles moved and stretched. The physical, hands-on movement and manipulation work for me. I can’t get outside and walk or do a little running, or get in a gym and use the weights to do that. I was talking to the people at the massage place I go to. It’s like, “How much would it be for me to come weekly? What do we need to do to get that on my schedule?” It’s almost a need because for me, it helps me to get out of my head and let all the thoughts that are circling all day. I can focus and be in tune with my body.
I was a part of this consultancy organization that came to where we are. The first thing they started each session with was breathing, and where in your body do you feel it? The stress, the excitement, the joy, or whatever the feeling is, where in your body are you feeling that? I’m very body-conscious now about different things. It is a massage and stretch therapy. I’m going to try to see if I can get back to yoga. I was doing some hip hop belly dancing for a while. That was the best class I have ever had. It is anything dance-related.
Same.
I think you guys know this. When I was at Georgetown undergrad, I co-founded the dance company, Black Movements Dance Theatre. It’s on the website. It’s a whole Performing Arts building there on campus. It didn’t exist when we were dancing against a wall of the Science building back in the day, concrete. That’s a need issue I have now, so dance and any physical movement for me, and the travel even. I love going to places where I can walk and see the city and navigate the terrain because it helps me get grounded. When I’m in places, I can feel what’s happening in that place and sense it. I put it in my need category, traveling, and all the physical stretch and massage things I’d love to do.
Get In Touch With Valerie
Valerie, where can people find you online?
They can find me online on Facebook and Instagram @Book_Coach_Excelerator. My website is BookCoachExcel-erator.biz. You can see all kinds of testimonials, the type of services I offer, and lots of different wonderful books that we’ve published as part of the organization. You may want to reach out and subscribe to our email list.
Are there any last parting words or messages that you’d like our audience to know before we have to go?
Keep writing. Don’t let the story get away from you. I share that I was a big fan of Judy Blume.
Have you watched Forever?
I did. When the film, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, came out a couple of years ago. I saw it. As we were talking about promoting, Judy Blume was promoting it on Good Morning America. I wrote down in my journal, “I would love to meet her.” I did. She has a bookstore in Key West. I went to Key West a couple of years ago. I was on a little boating excursion. When it came back, I was like, “Wait a minute. The bookstore is around here somewhere.”
I figured out where it was, and it was only two blocks from where the boat docked. She was in her bookstore, on the floor, putting a collection together. I had my first book I wrote with me. We exchanged books. I had her sign my book I bought. I gave her my book, and she wrote, “To my New Jersey sister girl writer, keep writing.” I say to all of you, keep writing. Don’t let the story get away from you. Keep writing. You never know. You might meet one of your idols one day.
We will have to end on that note. What a beautiful experience that you shared. I appreciate that. Thank you so much, Valerie.
It’s a pleasure talking to you all.
We’re forever eternally grateful for all that you did for us. I can go on and on. When I was doing the research for you this time, although I already knew you, I listened to my testimonial. I had diarrhea of the mouth, but it was a sisterhood experience working with you. We were truly blessed the way that we found you organically, but we hope that anyone interested in getting their book published or needs help writing their book would look you up and know that they’re in good hands. Until we meet again. May you be well.
Thank you. You, too.
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Episode Wrap-up And Closing Words
Sylvia, what a fantastic conversation. We learned so much about the process of a writer, book coach, and editor. Valerie is such an accomplished storyteller. Tell me some of your takeaways. What resonated with you?
I’d like it when she talked about writing your way out, using writing as a tool to see where you’re going, to move you if you are stuck doing something or you’re not certain, but to write your way out. The other thing she talked about is not holding on too tight. Certainly, sometimes, we have had a tendency to hold on because we think we’re doing the thing that’s going to help us get forward. We hold on, but sometimes, we need to let go and allow spirit to move us to the next thing. Finally, she shocked me when she talked about wanting to die empty. I’m going to have to think about that for a moment. I hadn’t thought of it in that way, but doing everything that you’re supposed to do, that is for you to do, and dying empty, that was interesting. What about you?
That concept, I’ve seen it written in many different forms. I think of this image of this woman who lived life to its fullest and left nothing on the table at the end. I do like the concept there. The imagery that I saw when she brought it out was like, “You’re leaving everything that you were gifted and were supposed to share with others in this thing we call life.” I like that. Mining that 5% more, she’s talking about building on your gifts or certain areas of our brain that we use over and over again.
Certainly, for us as women in the stage that we are in our careers, there’s so much that experience, knowledge that we have, and I’ll say wisdom that we can continue to build upon, but maybe in different directions. It is not necessarily staying in that same path that we thought we were aiming for when we were in our 20s and 30s. I like mining that extra 5%, but still in the vein of growing. I like that.
Keep writing. For writers, continue to write so that you still stay fresh. For people who aren’t necessarily trying to write a book, write an article, or anything like that, it is the action of writing, whether it’s in a journal or if you get up in the morning. I saw this. A coach that I know of talked about writing all of the thoughts that are in her head down in three pages, and then throwing them away, to get all the random thoughts out. I cannot do that.
I can’t spend time writing for all that and then throw it away, but it is the notion of writing to get it out of your head. Keep writing. Oftentimes, you’ll find that story that you do want to tell, that might resonate with someone else, or it’s something that you need to get out of yourself. Now that it’s out and released, you’re lighter. There is a lot of good information with her, which we thought we were going to get, so we’re so grateful for that.
We are excited to see what happens next in her career. Certainly, if I ever need someone to help with writing and editing, then we already know what that experience was like with her and would look her up again. Hopefully, our audience has some good takeaways and now knows someone if they are interested in writing or publishing their next book. At this point, that wraps up our interview with Valerie McDowell. If her story spoke to you, hit follow, share it with your people, subscribe on YouTube, and leave us a review. Let us know what your thoughts are. Anything that you want to hear about or see in one of our upcoming episodes, let us know. Until next time. Until we meet again. May you be well.
May you be well.
Important Links
- Valerie McDowell
- The Game Plan: A Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Doctor and Living a Life in Medicine
- Black Cake
- Power to Excel
- Black Movements Dance Theatre
- Valerie McDowell on Facebook
- Valerie McDowell on Instagram
- Judy Blume
- Valerie McDowell on YouTube
About Valerie McDowell
Valerie McDowell has been supporting writing- and time-challenged clients for over 40 years. Her services include book coaching, ghostwriting, editing, layout, and cover design, and publishing.
As a writer, editor, author, book coach, and consultant – supporting those with a dream of writing a book is a joy and honor I get to participate in over and over again.
However, it was not always that way. In fact, it took me a long time to write and publish my first book even though I had been writing for others in corporate settings, the community and in the church for many years. has helped multiple first-time busy professionals finally get their books off their hearts and onto the printed page – and she can help you too. With her unique process, you can go from idea to published in as little as three months. As a published author herself, she knows exactly what you need.